sanguine

...and

 I'm listening to Blues Traveler....it just takes me back to college days...which seem....so simple now...where life was about studying....and learning....and boys?  

I have a B.A...in Spanish....I majored in Spanish...and for some reason...I have Art and Latin American Studies  minors...seems weird, but that's what I have...

I also have 3 masters degrees....and a Ph.D..... oh, and an update on my weird music research question....I'm up to 10 songs for my corpus....oh, yeah...moving right along...and I think I might have a theory....

oh...and I like to draw and paint nudes....and this answer goes out to all of those who wonder why I do this...

why not?  Isn't the human body beautiful?  Would I need to explain why I paint flowers?  I guess nobody has ever asked me why I paint flowers....or trees...but every few months...someone asks me...

why?  why nudes?  why naked and bare?  why exposed?   

spiritually...my answer would be....why not destroy the security we hide behind?  why be so protective?  why not be more open to experience - as Paul Wood put it....play...without boundaries.  

which I love.  and I love his work.  

aesthetically...I would say....because the human landscape is amazing....so why wouldn't I want to paint something amazing? 

also.....the other thing that I have besides many degrees.....sat through many classes....taught classes....words...blah blah blah....

I have optimism.  

as we seek so shall we find....and when I say that...I mean it....

if you seek, nothing.   nothing is what you get.  you sit around doing nothing...that's what you get.  

if you take steps to reach your dreams....and I'm not talking about the little ones...although dreams, big and small....equally awesome....have a dream... have a small dream...but the thing is....have one...and reach for it...

me?  

I got big dreams.....and those are the ones I seek... because mediocrity ain't much fun...ha, I mean...

it's just....

mediocre.   

and this song makes me happy.....

AND

sanguine.....just awesome...and just reading the lyrics...makes me smile in a way that....is like....yeah, man....you get it...you know...because, even if your ship is tattered a bit....

it's standing....and will continue to sail on....sailing on to big sunsets....and dreams.....drink it all in....because it's happening...it's happening right now...unfolding like a beautiful flower.  

oh, once upon a midnight dreary

I woke with something in my head

I couldn't escape the memory 

of a phone call and of what you said, 

like a game show contestant with a parting gift

I could not believe my eyes

when I saw through the voice of a trusted friend, 

who needs to humor me and tell me lies, 

and I'll lie too and say I don't mind, 

and as we seek so shall we find

and when you're feeling open I'll still be here

but not without a certain degree of fear...

of what will be with you and me, 

I still can see things hopefully....

but you- why you wanna give me a run-around

is it a sure-fire way to speed things up...

when all it does is slow me down...

and shake me and my confidence

about a great many things

but I've been there I can see it cower, 

like a nervous magician waiting in the wings...

but I want more than a touch, I want you to reach me

and show me all the things no one else can see

so what you feel becomes mine as well

and soon if we're lucky we'd be unable to tell, 

what's yours and mine, the fishing's fine, 

and doesn't have to rhyme, so don't you feed me a line...

Tra la la la bombardier this is the pilot speaking...

and I've got some news for you

it seems my ship still stands no matter what you drop 

and there ain't a whole lot that you can do.  

oh sure the banner may be torn and the wind's gotten colder

perhaps I've grown a little cynical 

but I know no matter what the waitress brings, 

I shall drink it and always be full, 

Yeah, I will drink it and always be full...

Oh, I like coffee and I like tea, 

and I'd like to be able to enter a final plea

I still got this dream that you just can't shake...

I love you to the point you can no longer take.  

amen, Blues Traveler....peace...and love...and sanguinity and playing without boundaries....

IT SEEMS MY SHIPS STILL STANDS...NO MATTER WHAT YOU DROP.  :)