what are words for....

communication is the ultimate thing.....between people.

it is what makes or breaks friendships, relationships...between people.

break it down and seriously think about that.  sometimes you can leave an encounter with someone and feel really good about it...you know...that really good feeling where something special just happened and you shared more than just words.  I walked into a store on one of the first days that I arrived in my new town and made friends with the person working there....instantly....felt like I had already known her....

and then there are those really awkward encounters....communication lost in misunderstandings....

so many variables....maybe someone just has really poor communication skills...you know...like they don't know how to do that....shallow-polite-and socially accepted small talk communication.  Or maybe both people are fine communicators, but they have very little in common, or have very little interest in each other...there's no give and take....or you have two narcissists only trying to talk about themselves...and each just trying to monopolize the conversation....and try to convince themselves that what they have to say is more important....it is endless...the scenarios...the situations, the communication, the utterances...and judgements...

it makes me think of that song....by Missing Persons.....Words...

Do you hear me ?
Do you care 

My lips are moving and the sound's coming out 
The words are audible but I have my doubts 
That you realize what has been said 
You look at me as if you're in a daze 
It's like the feeling at the end of the page 
When you realize you don't know what you just read 

What are words for when no one listens anymore 
What are words for when no one listens 
What are words for when no one listens it's no use talkin at all 

I might as well go up and talk to a wall 
'cause all the words are having no effect at all 
It's a funny thing am I all alone 

Something has to happen to change the direction 
What little filters through is giving you the wrong impression 
It's a sorry state I say to myself 



you know...it is very frustrating talking to someone who only wants to hear themselves speak...what is the purpose of the interaction....you might as well let the person talk to themselves about themselves....right?

but once in a while....something clicks...and a clear channel happens....one that seems to elevate above words uttered....it goes above and beyond intonation....it even transcends body language and non-verbal messages.

and you know when this happens....how important communication is or just how important really good interactions are to the growth of trust and support.


a continued string of really crappy communication and shallow interactions results in what?  you know?  those aren't the people you keep around....they get weeded out pretty quick....

i dunno...maybe I analyze communication too much.

OF COURSE I DO....I'm a linguist....

but also...it's one of those things....the things we take in and evaluate and really use to feel people out...

what they say and how they say it....

it's like we're little sea anemones walking around and sending out our little feelers....gently guiding us through life and figuring out if someone is a friend or foe....

I think as we progress through life we start getting a pretty good rubric for assessing these things....and situations....and

communication....is how we interact with each other....communication in all forms....verbal and non-verbal...we are social creatures so.....communication is....seriously important to the health of a relationship.


when you tap into a clear channel...it feels like the static just turned off.

and that is....

good stuff.