tattoo

I'm not sure if this is something that other people experience, but...

once I figured out what I wanted for a tattoo..and where... it just burned in my skin...like it was already there...like it needed to be there.  it was there...I could feel it...and it felt natural....in fact...it felt weird that I looked and I couldn't see it.

and that's how I knew it was perfect...and that there would be no regrets....a commitment.

I had tossed around the idea of a butterfly...maybe a paper airplane...something that could fly...but those things just seemed...oh, I don't know...just not right.  I didn't connect to them.  cute, yes...but- on me...I just couldn't quite *feel* it...they were too...just...not right.

and then I found the viking rune symbol and....it kinda just...fit....where there's a will, there's a way.   (see, XX)

ain't that so true...

tattoos...people have different reasons for getting them...and I kind of think of them as...not just adornment...but a kind of talisman...but it's late...and I'm tired...and I was going to go into a whole big, deep thing about them...but....eff it.  I'm tired....it's late.   just....tattoos are (words, words, insert words, positive messages, etc.)  :)

calling around to different tattoo places got me kind of discouraged...once I knew what I wanted and where...I was determined to get it done...but a few of the really good places I called, were booked for months.

so there I was....driving with Jude- we went to the library, dropped off a painting...and I parked in the grocery store parking lot- made a call to a place I hadn't tried calling before, but knew had a record of being clean- and...bam.  yes, they could fit me in, within a half hour I was driving to the place.

Jude held my hand...because- WOW. that hurt...what a sweet guy (he's four).  and the whole thing was done with the outline needle...however that works....she filled it in with the outliner....and holy....f*&@#....

it felt like she was drilling the ink gun into my ankle- at least an inch deep....and I just breathed....and held Jude's hand...and it was over pretty quick....

and... now...it's healing.....

and this new one, makes it two.   the first is a turtle...a petroglyph style Hawaiian turtle that I did in Hawaii, after I turned in my master's thesis on Pidgin intonation.... (Honu, meaning and Hawaiian people).  So basically, this turtle on my foot a reminder...about my ability to move forward, find my way home...and a nod to Hawaii and respect for the Hawaiian people and culture and language.

here it is with my daughter's feet.

So, the thing is....when I got this turtle....I was 2 days away from leaving Hawaii and returning to AZ.  I had a healing tattoo, and hadn't planned the placement very well, and my flip flop strap laid over the turtle's flipper.  and OUCH....walking through LAX (stop over) and having to navigate that shit show, freaking limping with a damn flip flop strap digging into my ouch-ie skin...son of a.....

needless to say...it did not heal well...and now- i have a very faded flipper...years later...after pregnancies and breast feeding...I couldn't get it touched up...and always put it off....until...

when I got this last tattoo, I asked her if she could fix it....darken it...redo it...  :)   I thought- hey- I'm here...might as well.

and...after getting that tattoo XX.   ummmmmm.  ya...I told her..."Ya, NO...I'm good, I totally don't need that touched up, nope."


So, for Martin...I'm at two...and need 5 more to catch up to you...I think.  I'm not sure I will be able to catch up, but I do have an idea for another small one....but I may need some serious hand holding for that one. it will hurt...but not as bad as a bikini wax....Brazilian.  ugh.  now THAT hurt.
but... you kind of...forget the pain.


so....

peace...and love...and talismans made of ink.  and....I'm sleepy.

<3