and how I got here....felt like....well....
It took a lot of work...and practice....and just...focus...and also....no focus....
I took a picture...and sketched it...and painted it....and then, not satisfied...I started over.....sketch...paint.....hmmmmppff....nope......
again...
sketched.....painted...overpainted....squinting....wrinkled up nose.....hmmmmmpppffffff......
again....sketched...painted...hmmmmmmmm......
the process...was like...trying to solve the rubik's cube....i couldn't put down the pencil....and paper....I kept picking it up.....just...one...more try.....
until...it was about midnight.....so tired.....exhausted from trying to solve this thing....just....trying....over and over...
one.
last.
freaking...
try.
and I said to myself.....f*ck it. and I scribbled....and dashed lines....and let something else take over...and I stopped focusing so hard....
and then...
it was the best one out of the whole damn bunch.
huh.
and that.... is why......sometimes....focusing too hard on something.....totally doesn't work...I let the other half of my brain take over...maybe I tapped into my peripheral vision....clearly...I was tired....the other thing was....the room was darker....I was getting ready for bed...and I stood at the bed....alert...but unfocused....engaged...but not being too...intent on what needed to be....I just
let....
go....
and went all...zen like.
and just....like that.....it was the best one I did....I won't show the others....I let my daughter paint over them...and now....they are quite funky.
yeah....so...practice. :) practice is good....and so is....just....throwing yourself into something with heart....and not so much....mind. the mind needs to be quiet sometimes...maybe I should take another crack at the rubik's cube....
peace....love.....and letting the heart sing it's own damn solo.....and solving impossible puzzles...
oh...and swatch watches....
#keeptrying
#heartabovemind
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