intoxicating....

I remember when....I lost my mind.  :)  

there was something so pleasant about that place...

even your emotions had an echo, in so much space....

(Gnarls Barkley, Crazy) 

I'm going to try to sound less crazy than....I'm sure I will come across... :)  

sometimes I feel like I'm living in a Fringe episode...

but I'm going to try to present this somewhat rationally....as much as I can, anyway....I-

at the end of it all, i can usually just chalk it up to, a bunch of hippy crap....wrapped up in a crazy artist shell, dipped in weird...and that... I'm ok with...that kinda of intoxicating endearing quality...I'm ok with...  :)  the one that makes someone....a little strange...a dash of surprising... 

I am a mediocre gift wrapper...

I can't for the life of me read directions...

I prefer to have a picture illustrate the crap I need to follow....

and....

I can feel what other people are feeling.  

It doesn't mean...I actually, have empathy for them.... :)  all the time...

HAHHAHAHAH.  I am an empath that lacks empathy.  I belong on the island of misfit toys.  

seriously though....I can actually feel what some people are feeling.  I know that sounds, or may sound weird...

and sometimes it takes me a second to figure out why I'm feeling something that makes no sense to what is actually happening to me....

it's just that...I clue in on heartbeats? breathing? language choice?  tone?  yeah, I think all these things help me be more observant...on a regular basis...but-  no...that's not all of it...because I can sense what someone is feeling when not even with that person- or given any other tip-off clues about their mood...i FEEL what they feel.  

i know...weird...but...it's just like, smelling...or seeing, or touching....or hearing....it's just another sense....one that can be quite helpful.....and sometimes a pain in the ass.  :) 

and like I said...just because I can feel what someone is feeling...doesn't mean I actually know how to be empathetic to them. :)  I know...sometimes I'm an insensitive asshole.  :) 

  

anyway....if you believe in the power of the brain and whatnot....and that there's whole shit loads of stuff we can't quite explain yet....

this shouldn't actually sound that strange...and I'm not even sure how it works...I just know...

I feel weird stuff sometimes.....stuff that isn't MY usual stuff.  :) and I don't have any problems with anxiety...so when I feel weird anxiety that is random....

I'm like....whoa...this isn't mine...is it?  

sometimes you discover something about yourself....that is so mesmerizing and surprising...like hearing a remix of a song you know by heart...and love...something that just flips it on it's edge and you get to hear a whole new side to it...and you feel a sense of wonder...a wonder about yourself....huh.  that's awesome...right?  because once you know everything about yourself....

where's the sense of discovery?  

oh, and recently a story about swans....totally proves my point.  

 :)  anyway....

peace...and love....and a beautifully perceptive mind.  :)