and say good-bye to my Mom...which is hard....because I wanted to do some things for her before I left.
so many things to do....left undone...and spent a good chunk with sick kids. I type this and sip on grape juice...which is as close to wine as I'm getting right now.
sometimes, you have to just give in....give up? no....just give in...surrender to the flow and know that where you are going is fine...plot your course out...yes, but also....
you may be surprised where you end up....might be better than you could ever imagine...but you have to be ready for it....
some people may just want to crawl on the shore and sit there.....and where does that take you? no where....
it's safe....but life isn't really meant to be safe...is it?
my Mom....is terrified of people...she says.
she can't believe that I am who I am today...and that she raised me....
but I think a lot of my view on life...and people....came after I moved away. I was reading old high school report cards that I found at her place....and they were mostly about how...I wasn't very active in discussions....I hated the attention...what would I say if I raised my hand?
and you would never think that....of me now....but here I am....blogging to the world...exposed soul....
because you know why? It's liberating.....hiding under a rock is the worst place to be.....crawling to the shore because life's rapids knocked you down.....not good either. reacting out of fear....it is stifling...blossoming out of love.....is the most freeing....feeling....soaring via wings of confidence grown of love....or surrendering down a stream.....that is good stuff....I know..yes, fine....my opinion...but when you think about how you feel when you are hiding from life in fear....that feeling....
I think I made a choice....to not be afraid a long time ago....even when my Mom would look at what I was doing with a, 'you are crazy' look on her face.....what I trusted was how my soul felt doing it....
free.
simply put...being afraid ....
is not a good feeling...
so if we are just working with binary categories....we have fear....and love
.....good...and bad....
shore....and the deep blue ocean....
because being deep out there....having no clue about what's going to happen...but feeling free
....that is where it's at.....
being safe at shore....keeps you safe....because you are afraid....
which brings me to...... the soul.....and the soul's light....and this light is fed with love.... but....each person has to nurture their own soul....right? I mean, you can lead a horse to water.... :)
it is up to each person to make a decision about their own happiness....every single second...a choice to either, chose...love.....and happiness....or well.....it's binary....you get the point.
feed your body...feed your mind...and feed your soul with good things...with beauty...with truth....with happiness....
being you....without any fillers or toxins....or pesticides....yeah...you, know....organically...you.
that is kick ass.
and the song?
I was listening to this sweet song by Florence and the Machine....kind of sparked up some things...
Never Let Me Go...
looking up from underneath
fractured moonlight on the sea...
reflections still look the same to me
as before I went under
and it's peaceful in the deep
Cathedral where you cannot breathe
no need to pray, no need to speak
now I am under all
and it's breaking over me
a thousand miles down to the sea bed
found the place to rest my head
and the arms of the ocean are carrying me
and all this devotion was rushing out of me
in the crushes of heaven for a sinner like me
but the arms of the ocean delivered me.
though the pressure's hard to take
it's the only way I can escape
it seems a heavy choice to make
and now I am under all
and it's over
and I'm going under
but I'm not giving up
I'm just giving in....
i'm slipping underneath
so cold and so sweet.
never let me go...
peace....and love....and an organic you....don't let that go. :) bam. birds and angels gotta fly....
Kelly, It's always a treat to see your posts and read your blog. Thank you for sharing your work and your self :) Hope the 'crazies' are feeling much better. I went on vacation with the family last week and didn't get onto G+ until last night. You've been busy! Awesome posts - Love seeing your work and thank you as always for sharing with us!! Take care, be well, and look forward to your next post!
ReplyDelete