light my way...

hey....I'm Kelly....if you haven't seen my blog....and this is your first glance...spoiler alert...

there's some hippy nonsense contained on this page.  :)  

I 
am....

here to shine...

a light on the path....

and we all need to...find our path.

sometimes the path you thought you wanted to take...isn't the path you need to take...

sometimes the path you end up taking...is one suggested by others...and you keep following it because you were told to...or it seems like the right thing to do....


and the universe....it's like, those driving games...when you start going off the road...and the whole damn game vibrates and shakes and makes crazy ass sounds until you make your way back to the road....

sometimes the universe says....hey....stop turning your damn car around...you're going backwards....for effsake!  turn your damn car around..... and that's when you get a big kick in the junk.....


so start listening and if things are getting too hard...it might mean...you are going the wrong damn way.  :)  so start listening to your inner voice....you know the one.....the one that is trying to tell you which way you need to go....


yeah, that one.  start listening to it...and the voice that brings up fear and doubt...that's your stupid mind trying to trick you into ramming your car into the side rails...because it's afraid of change and what awesomeness could lie ahead...because it isn't your mind you need to listen too...it's your heart...the one that could walk you through the toughest of mazes with your eyes closed....and bring you to the place you need to be...all... Jedi-like.


yeah...listen to that voice, for effsake.


peace and love....and listening.....shhhhhhh... just be quiet.....be still....open your eyes and follow the precious glowing light that is your intuition....and follow that path....it's the one marked with little hearts....and not toxic waste signs.... ahhhhh...I'm joking.....of course...but...you get it.  

how's that for a new year's resolution?


oh...and drink more water....and pomegranate juice.  that stuff is so good for you...oh, and breathe....air is good too.  

bam.    


be safe....be kind....be love.... and check out, kelemurphyarts.com 

be set free....

the sun will rise every day....and love conquers all.  

dream big with all your might....

be open....be light.....be love.... 

create......your reality.   create a world of love....and it will be yours.  

be strength and courage....and fearlessness....

embrace.... 

you. 

peace and love....and find your wings...and fly....higher than anyone would ever expect you too.... be set free.  

and

Happy New Year! 

winter and happiness...

to the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.  Lao Tzu

This is totally true... all things are possible...just gotta have faith that they are...and love. 

today, this post is about happiness and what that means...totally weird, but when I was looking this up, about how people can be happy...or happier....

the key to this...I've read this before...but never actually felt it...until now...but, hang on....rambling....

the key to happiness is that happiness must be found within.  Funny thing is....if you don't know how to do this...or if you didn't stumble on it accidentally ... you might buy into all the myths about how to be happier...the myths that kind of...float around out there, on some level, some mass understood level that says certain things will make you happier....usually things...having things...or a bigger house....or a better this...or a better that....and all these things....don't make anyone happy.  You could be miserable in a big house or small house....you could be an unhappy person who has everything that they could ask for....all the things in the world, really won't give you happiness....the real kind of happiness...the kind that kicks your ass and makes your soul satisfied.  

anyway....speaking of New Year's resolutions...like maybe...trying to be healthier?  being healthier is great....but....usually the thing that people pick as a New Year's resolution is something that they think will improve their life...or make them happier....maybe someone wants to drink more water....because they think this will make them feel healthier...  ;) hydrating is great....but...then...without being happy....or doing the work to make yourself happy....you just end up being a miserable well-hyrdated a-hole.  some people don't want to do the work...they want the easy way...easy happiness....they might be happier watching viral videos of kittens on youtube.  that's fine....eating more veggies, drinking more water....isn't going to make you happy....healthier, yes...but healthy body...doesn't always mean...your soul is happy...and I kinda think your soul has to be happy for other things to really...stick.  

the thing is...when you are happy...really happy....

it's because you love yourself...you've done some work- and you love the shit out of yourself....because you are happy to be...you.  

and being happy to be in your skin.....is happy.  

and when you love yourself....your happiness doesn't hinge on getting the approval and feedback from others....and when you love yourself....you don't really care about what other people think....because you are happy...with yourself...and that's all...your happy is your happy...and nobody can change that...not somebody else's crappy mood....or some criticism from another person....that stuff can just....bounce off you.  

I read, when researching happiness, on a forum, someone wanted to know what they would need to do to find happiness within- for example...what, or which philosophy or belief system would they need to adopt to get this kind of happiness and what does it mean to find happiness within.  

for those who keep searching...and reaching for something external to make them happy....it won't ever happen....happiness will continually evade them...the snow will continue to fall and their happiness will hibernate.  

something that seems so simple....but can be so hard to get.....once you get it....you won't ever want to go back...

and when you are happy...and love yourself....all things are possible....because you are so very powerful....and bright....and it's all because of love.  

this may be a long post.....

what is also important is....knowing yourself....knowing what you are not...and what you are....

What is...and what is not....we, humans....must define things...this is how we process and analyze the world around us....can be so binary....so easy to categorize things....what feels good....what does not.....what we like....what we don't....

hold on to what feels good...and don't abandon your faith in what can be.  

but- seems.....the things that we don't like...things that we are not....these things are necessary to show us...what we are....who we are....what we like.....what we care about....the things that we are not....serve a purpose....to show us who we are.  

happiness is also, knowing yourself...   

having winter.....so to speak....and knowing... we don't like the cold.....we would rather have the warmth....

and again...

it is all because of love.... and perfect love...has no fear.  

yesterday, my daughter and I were driving...it was cold... 10(F)...we saw a teenager walking, holding two boxes of groceries stacked up...I drove by him....and acknowledged....yes, Universe...I see him....  :)   

I turned the car around...rolled down the windows...and said, "hey, do you need help? or a ride?"...  :)  

he, hesitated....and said.... unsure... "hmmmm, ok?"    

bam.   done....helped him with the groceries and told him to sit in the front.  He was home alone with his brother...the Mom was out of town...and he had a pretty good walk ahead of him....we gave him a ride home....and that is all.  

and how do you find happiness within?  just love.  that is all.  you don't need to drink more water....or get a different job....or move to another city...just love.

"One's destination is never a place, but rather a new way of looking at things." -Henry Miller

and....


"the aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely, aware." 

-Henry Miller 

peace...and love...and happiness...all of these things can be found within, they blossom and radiate outward....touching those around you....such a beautiful thing to see....and feel. 

#happiness
#loveyourself
#satisfyyoursoul
#watercolors

weather with you....

I am the sun....

as Bob Marley says,  "wake up and turn I loose."  yes.  Turn I loose.

Which then makes me think of that Crowded House song,

everywhere you go....always take the weather.   and so for me....I try to take the sun with me...everywhere I go...right?  Who wants a damn dark rainy cloud on your damn parade?  eff that.  eff that hard...as Cordelia calls it quits would say....(check her out here) unchain your elephant.


unleash your radiation.... 

if I can make a stranger smile and see some sun...when so many people hustle around avoiding eye contact .... I only radiate more...and yes...people close to me, close in my life...exposed to my UV, hopefully feel my sun- however, sometimes I think I feel like Arizona and people start to take you for granted...that you are always gonna be sunny, even when they bring clouds.

.... it's ok....I won't stop shining...even when the clouds set in....rays get out.


wake up and turn me loose....turn me loose on those clouds....sometimes I feel so full of sun....shining on others just seems to be my duty.

walking into the grocery store....I just want to talk to random people...the person who looks the most sullen the better.....that shit is just a challenge,    :)  


Julius Caesar and the roman empire....couldn't conquer the blue sky.    

everywhere you go, you always take the weather with you.   (Crowded House, Weather with you, 1989).  

my sun's gotta shine....and when it shines.....it shines so bright....and if you are lucky to feel it...
keep yourself warm....and spread it to others.

because I've felt the Eeyore's of the world....they need the most sun...but, they do give off some serious dark cloud vibes that can be a real bitch to blast through.....fudge.....seriously.....


and here is my new obsessive design....which will probably circulate for a bit....with various colors and styles...yes, yes, probably sumi-e.

don't forget...you bring the weather...wherever you go...you bring that energy into the room....

and, me? well,  I'd rather you have to....and need to put sunglasses on when you enter the room than get out your umbrella....


because that's my job.....I gotta shine....


and shine....I shall.


peace and love....and here comes the sun....don't fight it...just get some sunscreen out...and enjoy the rays.  

ai...

when I was at a linguistics institute, my roommate in the Stanford dorms, was Ai.  Ai, means...love in Japanese.

and how did I get here? I was inspired by a sketch of mine, to take a minimalist approach and celebrate the very basics of a thing....the essence....the spirit....the poetry in the line...which brought me to,

sumi-e.   

Sumi-e is Japanese ink painting...which is spiritually rooted in Zen Buddhism and embraces contrast and harmony...the yin and the yang...light and dark, for light can not be defined without dark...this is a common theme in human expression...that which is and that which is not...

and sumi-e...expresses this the spirit of the subject, through the dance between light and dark...

sumi-e also has roots in the teachings of Bushido, the Samurai Code of Conduct....for the warrior welding the sword, has an artistic parallel in the calm and tranquility essential before the fearless release of a brush stroke.  This embodies ancient warrior codes and sumi-e, the metaphor for the ephemeral world of the mighty Samurai.  (http://www.drue.net/sumi-e-history.htm).


take brush...and confident fearless strokes....teaching to move without hesitation....and having the confidence in the stroke...the tenacity to break through any reservations.


the take home here...stop thinking...do not think...do.  and do...without holding back.  (there is no 'try'...right, Yoda?)

don't let what-ifs control you...too much thinking...and ego steps in....and wants to control everything out of fear.

what if this stroke is wrong?  there is no wrong....there is only experience and the freedom to feel what you need to feel.

make lemonade out of lemons.   and so what if the stroke isn't what you hoped for....get out another piece of paper and go at it...because gaining confidence will make the next effort that much better...give yourself permission to just, do....and feel.


ai...means....Love.....unconditional, giving, Love...the kind of love that gives and gives...so, give yourself some love...and a hug.


peace....and love....and light....and strokes without hesitation....fearless strokes....

root down...

so....this is far from done....just working this...and re-working....

only days to go for the christmas insanity with family...finishing Christmas errands and getting ready for the in-laws headed our way....and I've been working on a project that is slow going, which looks so very simple....back to basics....this thing is amazingly....ummmm....how should I put this.  this is SO not my style....but for some reason, i feel the need to do it.  I am not a person who usually likes to spend time on something that needs some detail and while this doesn't really look like it requires any amount of detail...believe me...it does....detail that lacks detail....whoa....

i have gessoed over this thing a few times....and re-worked lines....gesso....black paint...then gesso...then black....and back and forth....


sometimes you gotta go back to basics....and put your root down....and just root down...

like the Beastie Boys.  :)  totally satiates a musical craving.  

I kick it root down, I put my root down....So how we gonna kick it?  

Gonna kick it root down.  (Beastie Boys).  


the sketch that started it all...

sometimes the universe literally....*hands* me gifts and says...there you go....use this...and sometimes the universe slowly fills my cart with some random ingredients....and it's up to me to piece stuff together and figure out the recipe....oh!  hey...yeah..ok...I get it.....paella...sorry....Universe....that was totally obvious and I should have figured that out right away.

and sometimes...I get thrown into kitchen arena....with a mystery ingredient...like squid or something and I have to figure out...what the hell do I do with this?

I know...weird.  right?  who the hell knows what to do with squid?  I am NOT gonna be that person to make squid icecream.....everyone makes some weird ice-cream when they don't know what to do.  right?  like, shiitake squid gelato....so predictable...and don't you dare try to pull off some calamari boring-ness....don't you dare do it.  you're better than that.


anyway....that's what the universe does....sometimes it's easy....sometimes it's harder.....and sometimes.....it gets really tricky.....but you just gotta reach down........and root down.  Take it back to the basics and make that shit rock.


that's right....

sometimes when you gotta rock...you have to roll.....  :)

and you have to have Faith in your skills....do you think NBA ballers doubt themselves when the ball leaves their fingers .....and swish...nothing but net....

nothing
but
net.


they rock that...and so should you.


I know...this post is totally random....but the point is.... when all else fails....just...kick it root down.


and that is all...just feel your awesomeness and celebrate it...and if you can't do that....nobody else can either.



Peace...love....and kicking it root down...oh, and may you never get stuck with squid.  

and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays...and welcome the sun back.....

#rootdown
#abstract
#kickit

my chi....

today...

I am fighting a circling shark of sickness that is waiting for me to give up.....yeah, it's just a cold....but...damnit!  it is circling.

and I fight it with my 3 chi elements, representing gas, liquid, and fire.  :)

that is....

chocolate, for gas?  I have no idea how I can make chocolate represent gas....hmmmmm maybe aerated chocolate?  an aero bar?


chicken noodle soup....for liquid chi....

and cheetos (jalapeno....for fire chi).

and wow. i just came up with an idea for a chocolate bar that will kick toblerone's ass.

Peace and love...and finding your balance....chocolate always helps...oh and Nyquil.  

#cheetos
#chocolate
#doublenoodlechickensoup

cosmic...harmony

the recipe here...usually goes....painting, uplifting words, song I'm listening to, words, painting, closing.    and that's usually the recipe.  :)  today....i've got the words...the painting....and whatnot...but I'm missing the song....

I was painting and realized....a thing that happens in my paintings that totally amazes me...something I do that I hadn't really, fully....appreciated...something that looks cosmic....harmoniously beautiful, brilliant colors and chaos and the dichotomy of loose conciseness....or rather, the hypostasis of a free-flowing, yet grounded environment...balance and shared substance.

I usually do this wet on wet thing.  I get part of the paper wet, not the whole paper, just a small neighborhood....

and then I drop some color on it....and watch as the color spreads across the paper....but not only that....

those colors that contrast....that complement each other....like....orange and purple.....or yellow and purple...or green and red-dish.  the colors that I use to make a neutral color for a shadow.....the grey or brown...

so....wet paper.....one color gets put on the paper.....and then another color next to it....and they meet, to create something special

and what happens is...I don't normally like to mix these colors together to create one color...I like to let both colors sit with each other....maintaining their own pigment...share their existence...in perfect hypostasis.  two things existing together.... creating one....yet..
the union maintains both beautiful colors...colors charge together...free to swirl and spread as they will....

I like to pick up two colors together....like this....and then let them get acquainted on the paper.

the only downfall to this method is that....this beautiful method dries- the effect is not quite as brilliant as it was when wet....so I enjoy it as it lasts....knowing that I'm the only one to see the genesis of this quiet union....

so, yeah....I'm all about hard edges....

the way the paint will naturally dry without a lot of manipulation or force.....because forcing things, never works for me....and this wet on wet method...it's what gets me excited to paint...to watch beautiful things blossom in front of me....and love whatever it ends up doing...accepting what the paint needs to do...what the paper needs to do....all coming together to be what they need to be.

and the

maintaining of variation....variation dedicated to life's richness....full and brilliant....

sharing....existence....

colors charging towards each other....magnetically pulled together...

hypostasis...a word to capture a complex yet simple and harmonious state of my watercolors....and so much more.

oh yeah...and the song....which is completely not....uplifting and spiritual...but is in some way adorably brash....


first things first, I'm the realest...

drop this and let the whole world feel it....


...got the whole world asking how I does that.... (Iggy Azalea) 




peace...and love....and hypostasis....

recognizing that two different things can come together perfectly and share their lovely existence...marbled together and stronger for it.

the star....

twinkle twinkle little star.....

how I wonder what you are....

Up above the world so high

like a diamond in the sky....

when the blazing sun is gone...when he nothing shines upon....

Then you show your little light, twinkle twinkle, all the night.  

Then the traveler in the dark

Thanks you for your tiny spark.....

He could not see which way to go....

if you did not twinkle so....

in the dark blue sky you keep

and often through my curtains peep....

for you never shut your eye, till the sun is in the sky....

and as your bright and tiny spark, 

Lights the traveler in the dark....

Though I know not what you are...

twinkle twinkle...little star.  

(The Star, Jane Taylor, 1806) 

peace and love....and shining as bright as you can...filling the world with love, light, and hope...

scandent...

funny how...a word....can start you on a climb towards what you want to express.

anyway....as I listen to Howard Jones (guilty....yes, guilty) and think of things like...life....and happiness....I think of climbing....ascending....growing....

breaking mental chains...right?  you know...because...if you know Howard Jones....you know New Song, of course...


I've been waiting for so long
To come here now and sing this song
Don't be fooled by what you see
Don't be fooled by what you hear...
This is a song to all of my friends,
They take the challenge to their heart,
Challenging preconceived ideas...
Saying goodbye to long standing fears...

Don't crack up, bend your brain, see both sides,

throw off your mental chains... (Howard Jones)

because sometimes there are things we accept in our life...that keep us...chained....a lot of times, we adhere to these things, willingly....unquestioning, accepting them because pressure from parents or family because disappointing them would be...difficult.

I was reading about how elephants are trained...and how, as babies, they are chained, restrained and since the chain is stronger....they can't break it...after enough attempts of trying to break free...they just give up.

and as they get bigger....they still think the chain is stronger than they are....and they don't even try.


so many mental chains we have....keeping us right where we are...just have to realize that you're stronger than that....and some people don't ever realize they are much stronger than their chains...they accept things just the way they are and they get comfortable with their chains....

anyway....this just kind of hit me today....after seeing the word of the day...that I saved.....scandent.

growing is good....climbing is good....learning stuff is good... :)   keeping yourself in mental chains....chains that other people made for you, or that you made up yourself....not so much....think about that when you start to dream...


and this.... this is.....from Cordelia Calls it Quits blog.  :)  

I thought this was hilarious...

Well, Fuck That. Fuck It Hard

You are a mammoth, people-crushing ball of possibilities, and you have the power to roam wheresoever the hell you choose in this great adventure called life.

Are you really going to keep puttering around your same little circle, thanking life for the peanuts it throws you while you’re one good lunge away from infinite possibilities?

I don’t think you should. Because you know the secret now. You know the chain has no power except the power you give it in your mind.  (Tweet, tweet!)

And once you know that? It’s awful hard to keep respecting the chain.

and....back to me.  

what's around your foot preventing you from kicking ass today?  Oh, and I read this one too, somewhere....

nurture the positive.....water the flowers, not the weeds...

change your thoughts, change your actions....change your life...

and the colors today.....cool...dark...cold....and also....fire, heat...there's always heat...even on the darkest...coldest of days.  

here's to peace....and love......and unconditional love....and taking the freaking jaws of life to cut through chains that keep you from kicking your own ass into who you are...and maybe you need someone else to come along and use their jaws of life....we all need help sometimes.  



bam...

now go kick ass.   :) 

#climbing
#watercolors
#dontchainyourelephant