running up that hill...

another one of my favorite songs is...and probably- maybe- the only kate bush song that I really like...well, besides, 'this woman's work'....

is...

running up that hill.  

for some reason...it makes me super charged.... and determined...gracious...ready to take the bullet...to dig in and plough through the thickest of untouched soil.

when I turned in my master's thesis...I took off to Hawaii...on my own....I do stuff like that.  sometimes...instead of having to entertain others...or compromise on activities...or....other reasons....I'll do things by myself...at least...I could do that more before kids.....but I would....go to concerts, because I couldn't find someone to go...so I'd go by myself...I don't like to wait for when someone else can do it.....the waiting....then you spend life waiting...for the moment when the stars align and another person can go....why wait?  and then....that concert night happens...without you.

so...I went to Hawaii....by myself....and had fun....and of course.....because this is what I do as well....I created a mix cd for the rental car...which for some weird reason- turned out to be a minivan...so weird.  I was by myself...driving around this rental minivan.

and on that mix cd...was Running Up that Hill.  and every time that damn song came on....it just....

was awesome....driving around Hawaii...free from my thesis...

its that beginning beat.....tribal...and strong....like someone with the determination of a herd of a thousand wild horses....carving out their own new path....liberation and freedom and wildness...and a world of possibilities...

amazing....what music can do to you....and because of my mix cds, I have all this great music....with great memories imprinted in my brain....

It doesn't hurt me...
you wanna feel how it feels? 
do you wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me? 
do you wanna hear about the deal I'm making? 
you...it's you and me. 

and if I only could, 
I'd make a deal with God, 
and get him to swap our places, 
be running up that road, 
be running up that hill...
be running up that building.  

you don't want to hurt me, 
but see how deep the bullet lies, 
unaware that I'm tearing you asunder
There is thunder in our hearts
so much hate for the ones we love? 
tell me, we both matter, don't we? 
you and me... we won't be unhappy.  

if I only could, I'd make a deal with God, 
and get him to swap our places, 
be running up that road, 
be running up that hill, be running up that building, 

with no problem. 

peace and love and....running up that hill......with no problem. 

take a trip....

in a big country.....


I never took the smile away from anybody's face....

you are your own country.....you make your own realities....meaning.... sometimes you can downward spiral into frustration....frustration feeding on frustration....or you can be lifted up....elevated...by hope....and love....elevated by something more....


and no matter where you go....there you are.   right?  I mean...sometimes people think they need to leave the country to "find" themselves...when they don't need to go anywhere.... in fact....

the location of your body doesn't matter at all.   it's what you discover inside....and what you decide to let go of....

and what you decide to celebrate...and embrace...


take a wild trip inside...yourself.    it's amazing the things you discover....and it takes a whole lot of work...

to come to a sense of peace....inner peace...


I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert....but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime.  :)  in a big country dreams stay with you...like a lover's voice fires the mountainside...

stay alive. 

so take that look out of here, it doesn't fit you
because it's happened doesn't mean you've been discarded
pull up your head off the floor- 
come up screaming
Cry out for everything you ever might have wanted...
I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
but you can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered....



(Big Country, In a Big Country)


peace...and love....and reaching for your dreams...no matter how big they seem

come up screaming...

lay your hands on me...or...feel the magic

today...

I took some art into a printer to see about making some glicée prints.  and I left them with the printer.

four of them.  four little pieces of my soul.  :)  I know...so dramatic....but...they're with a stranger now...

and so...it felt good to start that process...because I've been thinking about it for months...I'm excited to see what will all come of it.

I feel like a parachute....or sunbeam today.  driving through snow flurries...and today...being 16 degrees (F)....despite all this...there was a party going on in the car as I drove all over the city to different errands...one, being the printer...and the other to downtown to get fingerprinted...something I've been meaning to get done as well...and finally...with two things done, I felt at least....some progress in two areas.


and as I drove....scrolling through thousands of songs on my iPod....I hit this little gem....by the Thompson Twins...

lay your hands on me...feel the magic.....


This old life seemed much too long
little point in going on
I couldn't think of what to say
Words just vanished in the haze

I was feeling cold and tired
yeah, kinda sad and uninspired
when it almost seemed too much
I see your face and sense the grace and feel the magic in your touch


oh, lay your hands on me...


back and forth across the sea
I have chased so many dreams
I have never felt the grace
that I have felt in your embrace

yeah- i was tired and I was cold
with a hunger in my soul
when it almost seemed too much
I see your face and sense the grace
and feel the magic of your touch...
now you made me feel so good,

yeah, like I never ever thought I would
you know you make me feel so strong
and now our laughter just goes on and on...

so cmon lay your hands on me,
cause close to you is where I really wanna be
and if it ever gets too much-
I'll see your face and sense the grace and
feel the magic in our touch.  (Thompson Twins)


bam.

that song...is like a freaking...spiritual hymn.  cripes....if that doesn't just....elevate your soul....then....well, maybe you just aren't into 80's new wave pop.   :)  that's ok....it's not for everybody.  :)  but....the message is universal.  sometimes we all need someone to be a parachute for us...to help us land safely when we feel like we're falling...

sometimes....I feel like....it's my....calling?  duty? mission?  purpose?  I dunno....but....I feel calm in a storm...and become....tuned in....to something bigger...

I remember driving back from the mountains in some serious blowing snow....seeing others on the side...and passing a serious accident...I was driving....and I went zen-like....just let go....and went calm.

feel a sense of peace and grace....and love, even in a storm. 


peace...and love....and pulling your parachute's cord....it's always there when you need it.  

awesome....

be...

awesome.

 and accept that you are awesome...don't just accept it....feel it in every cell....be fiercely awesome.

I posted a blog on being fierce.....sometimes you need to be fierce...and fight-fight that thing which you don't like....fight for change....eliminate stuff that no longer works to make room for stuff that does.

and sometimes you just need to realize just how awesome you are....take a step back and go...wow.  I did that.

you know who is awesome at that?  rappers....amazing.  just...
well, really....what other music just....in your face...celebrates the shear awesomeness of being so awesome?

totally drunk with their own awesomeness.  I love it.


I'll serve your ass like John McEnroe.


 seriously.



or this song....by Jason Mraz...which I love...

you fckn did it.  :)

you see the future as a sky full of possibility
with a spryness of mind and a psychic ability
you probably won't die at the at the hand of an enemy
and not in a den of inequity....
you're not the average Joe
you're not the average Jane...

you're not above or below, but you're never just plain....

you never take no, personally...

and any time you get stopped you try another way
could we settle for a kiss without a cease and desist...
if they ask we won't tell 'cause we're activists,

I am that I am and you are that you are...and we're all that is....

peace and love and love yourself for your awesomeness...

and if you don't feel that you're awesome...

then get up and do something awesome for the love of god... because nobody can change life for you...you have to do it yourself....

so...love a little more....and do a little more awesome....

communitas...

so...the other day, 

I had this idea.


I'm not sure how...or where it came from...it just popped into my head.  maybe a craving for a sense of community and sharing...sharing ideas...and techniques and just....sharing an experience.

communitas -Latin ...the spirit of community.  there are many interpretations of this word as a concept, but for here....

just simply....community...

I thought....wouldn't it be great to form a group of artists and I feel a sense of community with....and

share an experience...

I thought.....a virtual type of "art" class would be fun...or like a book club...but...an art club where we gather...and paint together.   Each person bringing a photo for us to paint...and interpret...where we can celebrate our own styles....but come together to share this common experience.

I posed my idea to Michael Salmon....and Martin Rice.... two artist friends...they've accepted.  and i'm thrilled.

and so....we have begun...formed a group :)   I can't wait...maybe it will expand...and turn into something, something...we never would have imagined...maybe other people want to join...paint together....learn together....grow.

awesome.

but just this....beginning...is amazing and exciting...just anticipating it...and having an idea...take hold....and do it.

you know....we all have things we say...'yeah, that would be cool, i should do that.' 

and the song today....Howard Jones....Things Can Only Get Better comes to mind....the lyrics make me....fearlessly fierce...


We're not scared to lose it all
security throw through the wall
future dreams we have to realize
a thousand skeptic hands
won't keeps us from the things we plan...
unless we're clinging to the things we prize.

and do you feel scared? I do....
But i won't stop and falter...
and if we threw it all away
things can only get better.

treating today as though it was
the last...the final show

Get to sixty and feel no regret

it may take a little time, 
a lonely path, an uphill climb

success or failure will not alter it.  :)


and so....when you think of what you want to do...or accomplish.....don't regret it.....


do it. 

peace and love....and coming together...to create beautiful things....and share....

realize your dreams. 

be love.  

hello...again, it's me

ah.. this...story.

When I was 16...I got new neighbors and they were....three, twenty-something single males.  

end of story.  HA! 

but...really...i mean...that was the most exotic thing that had ever happened to me at that point.  

and I was a curious curious....teenage girl...who had lots of Spanish homework....and who needed help with it.  (I'm a smart girl....I didn't really need help with it)   

and so...anyway.... let's just say...I had reasons to go over there...and observe the natural surroundings of three, twenty-something males.  

fascinating environment.....for a 16 year old girl.  

but really...the real reason for this post is to explain why....Basia is in the usual roundup of music I play.  yeah....weird. right?  Basia?   she is dripping with optimistic, lovey, queso....the queso-est queso (ok....queso means 'cheese' in Spanish....if you need the translation) ....and I mean...CHEESY...but I love it.  sometimes...I just need a good dose of this type of optimism.  I don't know if it's me....just finding music that matches my spirit? or if the music helped shape my spirit....or both...I suppose...probably both.  

I am the eternal optimist....and I don't know how to be any other way....and so....when I heard this music....probably match my vibrations... :)  it just amplified me.  yes...that must be it..super charged optimism.  

oh....so, why Basia?   well, these....young men....had a bunch of the music in the house...and played it a bunch just after some spring break vacation they all took....where they came back tanned....and listening to Basia.  and Matt Bianco...all of this....was exotic....to me....in a world of typical, late 80's, Minnesota, smaller town...radio filled with Debbie Gibson...and Guns N Roses.  

and...Hi.... neighbor...and I was fascinated...and impressionable.  

and so.....then... there I was....also....listening to Basia and Matt Bianco...like, Half a Minute...with it's bouncy beat....feeling all....bossa nova..latin poppy, jazzy.  I dunno...it just grabbed me at the time...as something totally new...and sunny...super gooey romantic... and why the hell not?  get in touch with that part....the one that wants to smile...and feel the warmth of sunshine....

sometimes we need to listen to that voice...you know...the one that speaks directly from your heart...sometimes...it's a whisper....and you have to quiet all other things and start listening....

Hello...again it's me....

Your shoulder's where I sit...

the half...nobody sees....of a silent partnership.

I am here..your helping hand. 

I'm never far away..

A clear view from where I stand

I'll be there if you need me

I am your helping hand...

My words, you've heard them all before. 

It's only for the sake of love. 

It's gonna be a new day for you....

the stars have played their part, 

the past is gone and done...

have more faith in love..

the best is yet...to come.    (Basia, A New Day For You)

and lately...I've been doing a lot of just....lines.  which I love.   minimal...stuff. 

peace...and love....and ooooooooooooey.....gooooooey.......queso...and Spanish homework...HA!  

i'm kidding....I'll never need help on my Spanish homework...I have a PhD in linguistics.  

dripping in gold....

Why can't you want me like the other boys do?  they stare at my while I stare at you....

lately,

I've been listening to Daniela Andrade...and all her covers....I just...her voice is a warm bath....sonic therapy.

love it.

and so...here I am....kind of inspired by the cover, "Crave You"....her voice in this is just...glimmering gold....


I walked into the room...dripping in gold....dripping in gold....I walked into the room...dripping in gold...

A wave of heads did turn, or so I've been told, or so I've been told...
my heart broke when I saw you kept your gaze controlled, 
ooooh, I cannot solve.  

why can't you want me like the other boys do? 


and today....trying to capture drops....so, today...is a practice day...something I'm sure I will keep working on...the magic of water...


the sketch, with masking fluid:

and then the watercolor...applied....bleeding and charging colors...

and as the watercolor dried....I removed masking fluid...but first....I started to shadow all the masking fluid drips....

and then.....having fun with photo filters...

dripping in gold..with my new duochrome saguaro green....wish I could capture the gold glimmer shimmer of this paint on this nude.

peace and love...and dripping in gold....even when nobody notices...shine...and drip in gold.  

\

creciendo...siempre, creciendo....

growing....growth....mandatory....not optional.  

picking up speed.....increasing.... gaining momentum....

I've wanted to do this post for a little while now...and right now seems like a good idea.


growth.  progress.... yes. come....walk with me.....

Back in July when I started this blog...this is what I painted...and it was a huge step for me...I've taken a life drawing class before...but this was beyond that...

Shortly after that try, I gave it another go....and painted this one...

which, I thought was a huge improvement.  I'm still really happy with this.  

I love this kind of thing...review....assess....let's look how far we've gone... 

and then there was this....leap...

you know....self explanatory...but I was indeed, moonstruck at this point...and wanted to keep growing and knocking down boundaries...

because....it's kind of important....to knock down boundaries...

and then...this.... and I felt like with every practice...getting closer to figuring out where I want to go....

you know...because this is my vision quest....a walkabout....trying to figure things out

by trying...and living....and expressing...

which then led me to playing with these colors...

and this beautiful combination....which still makes me smile....mineral colors, a patina.  

just beautiful....

finding a looser way to be....letting intuition take over....feeling, not thinking...never over think. 

and this...a powerful image...and I love all the white...left- untouched. 

which then...eventually led to this, yellow....warm...and on fire. 

and THAT....is improvement....movement....forward...with every single brush....stroke.  creating, inspiring...getting inspired by others....feeling that sense of accomplishment that comes from turning a blank sheet of white paper....into inspiration...

and
THAT.....is powerful.  

There comes a certain sense of confidence and happiness that comes from making another human smile from something you've done.



peace...and love....and growing....together.  

fortress...

love...not fear...I've said it before...apparently you just can't have them both living together at the same time....

and that's true.  


let love flow...not be imprisoned.  

sometimes we put up our own walls...and sometimes other people don't realize how much of a fortress they built around the person they love....and laid down their own mines....only later to find them.  



this has got to be one of my favorite Sting songs....just after Fragile-

 probably...both songs reach me in a way no other has.

--under the ruins of a walled city
crumbling towers and beams of yellow light
no flags of truce, no cries of pity
the siege guns had been pounding all through the night

it took a day to build the city
we walked through its streets in the afternoon
as I returned across the the lands I'd known
I recognized the fields where I'd once played
I had to stop in my tracks for fear 
of walking on the mines I'd laid

and if I built this fortress around your heart
encircled you in trenches and barbed wire
then let me build a bridge 
For I cannot fill the chasm
and let me set the battlements on fire

then I went off to fight some battle
that I'd invented inside my head
away so long- for years and years
you probably thought or even wished that I was dead
while the armies are all sleeping
beneath the tattered flag we'ed made 
I had to stop in my tracks for fear 
of walking on the mines I'd laid

this prison has now become your home
a sentence you seem prepared to pay
it took a day to build the city
we walked through its streets in the afternoon...


had to stop in my tracks for fear....of walking on the mines I'd laid....

peace...and love....and setting battlements on fire and loving....with an open heart....loving yourself and loving your beloved, because they are to be loved.  

Happy Valentine's Day!    Spread the love around!  don't forget to feed cupid some chocolate.

  :) 

 <3  

quizás, quizás, quizás...

today...

I'm not sure what happened....this song tugged at me....and I listened to it all day....

it makes me want to sit and paint palm trees all day, sipping sangria....in the heat of the sun...oh...and eating picadillo...that is my favorite...ever....you, know...because of the green olives....which I am a complete sucker for.

which made me want to paint really....saturated colors... passionate colors...colors of life...of love...the blues of deep heartache....the green of hopeful spring...the pink of love and passion.....

and the painting today....just...dripping with color...saturated...with emotion...because being bland is not what's on tap today.  Today is about....feeling.  like...putting on a song that rips at that beating organ in your chest....

this song...just tugs...even if you don't know what's being sung....the singing...you can feel it...which is the wonderful thing about music....crossing language barriers....you know...just...that- words aren't needed...sometimes words end up shifting the true essence of it.... of course...yes, there is an English version, but I think something gets lost in the translation....you can google it... anyway...

there's passion.....and heat....and sweetness.... like bringing chili and chocolate together....which I love.


and this version...by Pink Martini...slow and hot...simmering like ropa vieja....

siempre que te pregunto
que cuando como y donde
tu siempre me respondes 

Estas perdiendo el tiempo    ******* this part.....just....hits you..... wow. 
Pensando pensando
Por lo que mas tu quieras
Hasta cuando hasta cuando

Y así pasan los días

Y yo desesperando
Y tu tu contestando
Quizás quizás quizás

(escrito por Osvaldo Farres, 1947) 



here's to burning your mouth once in a while....with something sweet and spicy....like chili laced chocolate....

peace and love....and fried plantains....and cuban food.  

#quizasquizasquizas
#watercolor
#pink
#green
#prussianblue
#cervezaporfavor