the empath and the narcissist

gather 'round kids.

That's how one of my friends likes to start his posts.... Like some old Grumpy Gramps that has a lesson to teach.

Gather 'round kids....I'm going to tell you the not as well known Aesop's fable...about the Empath and the Narcissist.

this is totally played out on so many trendy mindfulness blogs...but I wanted to put my spin on it.

The empath was full of love....walking around....being full of love....she passed by a narc and he made her laugh....and she blanketed him with love and expected to get the same back....

but she didn't...and over the years...the narc began to let his mask slide here and there and she started to figure out what she was dealing with...

and being an Empath...she started to feel all his hurt...anger, rage, and his insecurities....

she realized that all the love she felt before- was just her own love blanket...trying to carry the relationship....

she realized there was no real depth to the relationship.

she saw the narc for who he was.

He went on to do the same things to other women.....and the Empath, being the Empath...understood the pain experienced by others...

One day, the Narc's new love supply- who was just hurt by him....came to visit the Empath...

and it was then that the Empath knew...... Narc's can't change...they will be lonely....in their nightmare.

The narc was even violent with the other person.... and it was from this realization.....the Empath knew...that this pattern would happen with other people....he has a disease he can't see.

The Empath....would continue to be love...to find love...to live in love.  The Narc would continue....
to not be love...to not live with love.... and he would be lonely and he would lash out at others...in his loneliness.


Then End.


God Bless it.


Here's to love's path....may it always feel like soft squishy warm sand on your feet.

do not chase love

do not chase love.




if you are chasing love.....then you actually aren't chasing love at all.

love
doesn't

run.


fear runs.

so if you are chasing "love".....you're just chasing fear..... either your fear...or that person's fear...

but stop.

stop chasing fear.

because.....

that's just dumb.

you think love puts on some adidas and takes off on your ass?  It doesn't.

fear does....and fear is like.....an olympian runner.  Unless you're a gold medal runner as well...and you've got nothing better to do than to go chasing it....and you have no self love to speak off...

don't chase.


peace...and love...

love thrives when love is the priority

why are so many people sitting and coping in a loveless relationship?  in a toxic marriage?  In an abusive situation?

when love is a priority it thrives....what is love?  What isn't love?  Love isn't fear.

What about the friendship test?  If a friend put you through the same bullshit that your husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend  is doing....would you tolerate it? or walk away?

what about blowing you off and ignoring your texts?   fuck that?  right?  if a friend did that shit, you would just blow them off and move on...fuck it if they think i'm such a pain they can't even answer my text...

what about when the friend finally answers you back and they say, well?  they were "allowed" to go out with friends so why are you mad about being late 2 hours?  and now it is all your fault that you are blowing it out of proportion.

huh?  maybe? fuck that?   right?

with a friend, you just would stop trusting that they say....their word would begin to mean nothing and you just wouldn't hang out with them anymore.

and so.....then....so many times people sit in a relationship that is supposed to be the most loving, the most trusting, the most supportive...

only...they sit in misery.....not getting any of those things because the other person doesn't know how to love, trust, respect.....because they don't have love, trust, or respect for themselves... the fuck do you think they will be able to love, trust, respect you?

exactly.

friend test it.   What if that husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend was so insecure they needed you to help them stand?  a lot of pressure?  what if they counted on you for their happiness?  suffocating you?  yes?

What if they patrolled your every move because they lived in fear that you would leave them...what if that was a friend of yours?

fuck that?  right?   Jesus.  Nobody wants a friend like that.....

Love CANNOT survive in a fear based environment.  It just can't.

What if you sit in fear because you are afraid to hurt someone because you are so miserable in the relationship.

first of all, if you can't talk to the person you are supposed to love the most, cherish, respect...trust....etc.  then that game has been over a long time ago.  right?

I mean....seriously.  When we meet people, our dynamic gets set...from the beginning.  In relationships....romantic ones...that shit is set and so what is in the beginning will continue throughout...if you fell in love with someone but shit was off and you ignored it....i guarantee shit will be off - as undercurrents- throughout your relationship.

if you start a relationship with a lie about who you are....or they start off with a lie about who they are... that lie is a crack that will grow and grow throughout the whole relationship.

If there is love, trust, respect, communication in the beginning.....that is what you will find in your relationship.

If love....real love....has a place to grow with all the elements it needs...it will make both of you better....grow together....communicate together, trusting, loving....all of it...

But if you continually have to McGyver your relationship.....fuck that.


peace and love.....


and realizing that....love exists....but only when love exists.

Be with someone who helps your dreams burn.

as within...so without.

there are some people you will meet....date....marry....who do not know how to love.

you will assume they love like you do....they do not.  This can be a shock when you discover this...that not only do they not share your deep love....but they are only capable of surface love....which is filled with fear...fear of love...fear of knowing themselves....a whole mess of fear.

they will not be able to go any deeper with you.  you will assume that people can all love at the same depths...

this is not true.  I have only just discovered this.

you will build something with them.....and slowly...they will brick by brick dismantle the place of love you tried to create... you will look at your progress and see chunks of the foundation missing...and they will tell you....nothing is missing there....and if it feels like it is....you must have been the one to do it.


they will lay down track...a track of disillusionment that carries you so far away from yourself...yet announce at every stop that you are at some kind of Love station.... the words will be there...yet at every stop...you feel a growing emptiness.

all of this will make your head spin.....until it all stops....and you get off the train.

some people can't love...but they will make you think you are being loved....you are not.

and then....

you will meet someone who loves you....someone who loves you with no agenda...they love you just because they love you....

you will thrive and grow.

you will discover yourself...and find out that you are so full of love....that you have so much love to give others....


you will also find out that the person who took you far away from love.....does that to others as well.

it wasn't just you....you weren't crazy.

and then you heal.

and you love....


and people see you shine and notice.

and for the first time...in a very long time...


you feel the deepest love...because it is inside you and nobody can take it away.

as within, so without...as above, so below.


peace

and love...

some things shouldn't be watered...

hey.

there are people out there who will want to encourage you...you will feel it.  It feels good.

and then there are people who hurt inside...who are insecure...they don't want to encourage others....

you will feel this...

it feels bad.

Don't water relationships that feel bad.  They will continue to feel bad....and they will not get better.


This is simple.  When people show you who they are...listen.  If they tell you words that contradict who they show you...

listen to how they make you feel when they aren't using their words.

Save your water for loving relationships.

Conserve water....if you have limited water...do you want to waste it on something that is dying or dead?

Some people won't ever realize the way they treat you is horrible.  They will not listen to your feelings and they will probably have a very limited capacity for love.

move on.

And if you are about to ask..."why?  why do they do that?"

That is not for you to find out....your next question should be.....Where is my love?

and then....

you should look inside yourself.

Because that's where your love is.


peace

and love....


and setting your sails inward.