the remedy

the remedy is the experience....

as Jason Mraz says...

I was listening to a youtube video of Jason Mraz talking about how he wrote the song, The Remedy (I Won't Worry)...

he was inspired to write it when he found out a close friend of his had cancer....

the anthem, his friend's beautiful approach to the disease was.......I won't worry my life away...

too much time is spent worrying about things...

if you got the poison then i've got your remedy.

and the experience.....your outer experience is created by your inner experience....

(say that 10 times and let it sink in)

 

 (*********I want to thank my neighbors for magically making their huge oak trees turn into a vast green galaxy when the sun goes down...

it blows my mind every single time I pass their house.)


Tick Tock....tick tock....I started this blog....a long time ago.....

....and then weeks have gone by and this blog still sits unfinished, because....

I've been so sick the last 2 weeks that I haven't been able to put energy into my passions....and that sucks the soul out of me.... ugh.

and well...a new year is coming and it is time for some change....because 2016 is gonna be outstanding.

and i see these 'fuck it' lists trending everywhere....and it makes sense.  Stop piling stuff on a list 'to do' and start taking things off.....things you can just say 'fuck it' to.   like...fuck it to Bucket lists....

because I don't want to totally have to strive to complete some list of stuff I don't necessarily want to do...and

sometimes life is a surprise and hands you things way more life changing than doing anything on a bucket list.


taking care of your soul and what you need on a soul level....is mandatory, to live a full, deep, and courageous life....to me, I think that is living a successful life....a great life.

if you can't look at yourself deeply and connect to yourself deeply....you can't connect to others deeply...you can't connect to your world deeply....and maybe you just get stuck living a half life.


so maybe it's time...and maybe that's why all these 'fuck it' lists are trending.  maybe people are looking for a deeper life.

because when we look at something in binary terms....or even make one of those flow charts where we have to ask ourselves questions....things get clearer....

do you want to feel good?  yes...then do the things that make you feel good.  if it makes you feel shitty...don't do it.

do you want to be happy?  yes.  then do the things that make you happy...if it makes you unhappy....ditch it.

do you want to bring happiness to others?   then take care of the above two....and it will happen automatically.

because people who feel good about themselves...and are happy and at peace....take care of others and celebrate them.


I know...  there's always exceptions...to everything.  but seriously....get to know yourself, deeper and unlock the mystery. :)  


fuck it to:

black Friday.....totally.

believing illusions

fake self- live with authenticity speaking your truth

indifference....make a difference..by golly....even if it means you help someone you don't know...have a brighter day

inaction....it is time to stop letting the world pass you by...and start taking action.  jump in the game.



ok...now sleep on it...and think about all the things you will let go....to make you happy.

peace and love....and saying fuck it in the new year to things you should say fuck it to.

heat....

i think the key is...



heat.  

i love reading forums and how people answer forum questions....


I read this:

When certain food are heated properly, their internal flavors are heightened to a whole new level of flavor and that's why they taste so good. 


so maybe you're that kind of food...that needs to be heated up....and then your flavors are heightened...

and you reach a whole new level of flavor.

some people are cold turkey.

but I think you.....you must be like....a molten cheesy enchilada....you must be the whole enchilada who needs some heat and all the flavors get married together.


bam.

it is just that easy.


peace and love and heat...

change...

here's the thing...

you gotta have struggle....and sometimes pain....and stuff that's uncomfortable....to make you want to climb that ladder...another rung.  one more step to make you climb...

the rungs of joy and pain...and sunshine and rain (credit to rob base for that)...

you need to have a reason why...to keep climbing.  You don't like something?

 change it....

growth can be painful....it can make other people uncomfortable...

but your growth is not supposed to be in accordance with other people's plans and what they want for themselves.

when you're at the end of it all....you know...this life on earth....you look back and say....

wow, i'm really glad I did exactly what everyone else wanted...because it made me a happier person...I didn't need to have my own dreams...I just followed what they wanted for me....


right?

that's rewarding?   I dunno....maybe some people can be happy with that....some people like it when other people order their ice-cream for them....and they always get handed vanilla..and they are happy with that.


what do you want to be?  do you want to pick out your own ice-cream?  something less-vanilla?


what if you are a powerful lion.....who sits in captivity....and gets gazelles handed to you.

what if everything was so much mediocrity of ...freaking... just good-enough- mediocre gazelles handed to you.....and you were happy with that....

you'd never change anything... it's safe...

sometimes, people are like that....sitting in a zoo, in captivity, having life determined for them.....

sometimes...something has to suck ass....

so you change something.  although...sometimes, even when things suck ass people sit in that suck ass zoo.....

and it's weird....because the door isn't locked...and they can push the gate open and walk out.


think outside of the zoo.

it's like...taking that moment.....the one where you always do that thing on Tuesday or Wednesday..because that's what you do....

and just...do something different.

or learn something different...

or just pick

cherry...instead of vanilla.


and the small movements of expression lead to a change in thought...in words and action....

and then the wheel starts spinning.


and you move to change....because change is good for the soul and you realize....

the more you love and take care of yourself...

the more love you can give....


peace and love....

tinkerbell...

my son loves Tinkerbell.  She's magical and kind and inventive...what's not to love about her?

last night we were at a dollar...discount type store....because my daughter saw a crazy shirt hanging on a rack in front of the store.....she said the design looked like sound waves... looked like a spectrogram... <3 I love her.    and then....we went in and Jude wanted to pick something out...

he went to a Tinkerbell doll....and pointed and smiled...his super sweet smile...with light shining in his eyes.

I said, "Do you want that Tinkerbell?"  and he smiled and nodded...but he wouldn't pick up the doll...he wanted me to take it and go pay for it.

and at that moment...he was so vulnerable and trusting.... trusting that I wouldn't make him feel bad about loving that Tinkerbell..


I would never make him feel bad for that.

and I realized that this moment....was going to have an important impact on him...and it could go one of two ways....and I'm not going to be the one to discourage him about his free choice to love what he wants to love...and be excited about what he wants to be excited about.

He believes in magic...

but not only that.   He had a plan for that Tinkerbell.  She doubles as Joy from Inside Out (Movie)

and he made me sew a tiny little backpack for her...and he created the headquarters out of Lego.  If you've seen the movie, you know what I mean....the little control center equipped with levers and buttons out of lego for Joy (Tinkerbell).



He's so clever and thoughtful...so sweet and kind...so creative...


and I love him.

ayuda....

today...

I recall a joke....there are many variations of it but i found this on the interwebs:

There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!" 

and so...yes...there are many things to say about this joke...a few about the way it is worded...I mean, seriously...I would think that a preacher would recognize God's help... even in the smallest of gestures and signs...

but the take home message...is....

the Universe...God....spirit.... sends you help when you need it and you ask for it.




and this help can come in mysterious ways....



but it comes.


in forms you couldn't have dreamt up yourself.


because yeah...

miracles are that awesome.


the end.


peace and love...and help (ayuda)....because it comes...you just have to wake up and see it.

blessings...and ideas

an idea...

many ideas....meander through thoughts and memories....trickles through....fear and doubt....and can lose the power it has....

take out the fear and doubt.....


take your idea...and make it happen.






create.  

that little idea...a small seed....sprouts with action and love....



and becomes something for the world to feel.


feed the seed with love...and not fear.









and it will grow....

and spread love....

have confidence in your ideas...and make them happen.  you are blessed with so much....


peace and love...and seeds and light bulbs...lighting up the world and shining the light on

all things,

bright and beautiful.

wild hairs...

sometimes...i get a wild hair to change something...and usually it's my hair color, because...well...it seems the most

benevolent thing to change.   you know....when you get the need to change something... I dunno....

sometimes you just get a wild hair.



I've been meaning to try purple.  just for the hell of it...


it doesn't seem very christmassy though...

and i am really starting to rev up the Christmas spirit....

and so...well,

here's to being cheeky....


peace and love...and wild purple hairs....

what are words for....

communication is the ultimate thing.....between people.

it is what makes or breaks friendships, relationships...between people.

break it down and seriously think about that.  sometimes you can leave an encounter with someone and feel really good about it...you know...that really good feeling where something special just happened and you shared more than just words.  I walked into a store on one of the first days that I arrived in my new town and made friends with the person working there....instantly....felt like I had already known her....

and then there are those really awkward encounters....communication lost in misunderstandings....

so many variables....maybe someone just has really poor communication skills...you know...like they don't know how to do that....shallow-polite-and socially accepted small talk communication.  Or maybe both people are fine communicators, but they have very little in common, or have very little interest in each other...there's no give and take....or you have two narcissists only trying to talk about themselves...and each just trying to monopolize the conversation....and try to convince themselves that what they have to say is more important....it is endless...the scenarios...the situations, the communication, the utterances...and judgements...

it makes me think of that song....by Missing Persons.....Words...

Do you hear me ?
Do you care 

My lips are moving and the sound's coming out 
The words are audible but I have my doubts 
That you realize what has been said 
You look at me as if you're in a daze 
It's like the feeling at the end of the page 
When you realize you don't know what you just read 

What are words for when no one listens anymore 
What are words for when no one listens 
What are words for when no one listens it's no use talkin at all 

I might as well go up and talk to a wall 
'cause all the words are having no effect at all 
It's a funny thing am I all alone 

Something has to happen to change the direction 
What little filters through is giving you the wrong impression 
It's a sorry state I say to myself 



you know...it is very frustrating talking to someone who only wants to hear themselves speak...what is the purpose of the interaction....you might as well let the person talk to themselves about themselves....right?

but once in a while....something clicks...and a clear channel happens....one that seems to elevate above words uttered....it goes above and beyond intonation....it even transcends body language and non-verbal messages.

and you know when this happens....how important communication is or just how important really good interactions are to the growth of trust and support.


a continued string of really crappy communication and shallow interactions results in what?  you know?  those aren't the people you keep around....they get weeded out pretty quick....

i dunno...maybe I analyze communication too much.

OF COURSE I DO....I'm a linguist....

but also...it's one of those things....the things we take in and evaluate and really use to feel people out...

what they say and how they say it....

it's like we're little sea anemones walking around and sending out our little feelers....gently guiding us through life and figuring out if someone is a friend or foe....

I think as we progress through life we start getting a pretty good rubric for assessing these things....and situations....and

communication....is how we interact with each other....communication in all forms....verbal and non-verbal...we are social creatures so.....communication is....seriously important to the health of a relationship.


when you tap into a clear channel...it feels like the static just turned off.

and that is....

good stuff.

Englishman in New York....

I was going to talk about two way streets today.....but I'm going to hold off on that...

I'm listening to Sting....I love him.   Englishman in New York came on....it's a dreary fall day...but somehow....

and for very little reason...there's a feeling I'm feeling....of a really weird electricity in the air....one that speaks of change and

great successes.....and for this conclusion....I have no supporting cause....but for some reason...utter faith in the fact of it all.

is that possible?  My son is sick today...and I've had to run around and take him to the doctor...and watch how his little eyes.....get watery as he coughs and how his eyes, his little innocent eyes express his pain....when he swallows...and his little head is hot from fever....

and then off to the pharmacy to wait and wait and wait with him as he looks so tired.....and tote him around to the UPS store because we have to get something notarized....

and then....just... all of those things...and the weather...would quite normally make me feel....

spent.

but for some reason....today.....

today....has promises that whisper in the air....things I can't decipher with ears but enter my soul....

and I received an awesome package in the mail today....so that has helped with taking the dreariness out of the gray day....

but really...

it's about faith.  because when you feel faith in what you can't see.....it is incredible.

there is a peace that washes over you.....that you don't need a net because you know you won't fall.

if that makes sense....then...yay.  because so very little can make sense....until you just strip it down to the bone....

but once you see the bare minimum of what is really necessary....for happiness....you notice that it was there all along...

and having the faith that it is there and always will be....

all lost is found. 


"if I ever lose my faith in you.....there'd be nothing left to do..." -Sting




peace...and love and happiness....

(portrait, by Tom De Bondt) 

get a bigger bite...

when we were moving here....

the movers arrived and started loading up the boxes in the house....they were machines...these guys.  Box after box....unload...load...unload.....

and a couple guys were moving a couch and communicated and worked together- totally in sync.

I heard one guy pause and say, "let me get a bigger bite on it..."  meaning....he had to get a better grasp....a better hold on the couch...it was slipping...


of course....just....I hang on stuff like that.   words....and phrases....metaphors...analogies....words and sounds that further illustrate our creativity with language and our ability to receive messages....


sometimes you gotta pause....and get a bigger bite on it...on all of it.  life.  sometimes the thing you feel you  have a good grasp on...is slipping in your hand....and you need to pause....

get a bitter bite.

so yeah.   that's my message for the day.  I haven't blogged in a long time....and I'm going to get better  at that....

because I had a cool thing going...so for now...you will see a mix of new and old posts....


and i've noticed a routine in the morning....I find a picture....one that has cool shapes and angles....and then I sketch it....practice....practice...practice....

it makes me focus on something and put heart into something for 10 minutes....it makes me warm up and find my breath and just.....be on a really cool ride.

and when I get off the ride...I realize....I just got a bigger bite on it...


peace...and love....and all that jazz....

anahata

the word, anahata, is a sanskrit word...and it means...

unstruck,
unhurt,
unbeaten.

a calmness, a stillness, a heart that is balanced, serene....

the heart chakra is represented by the lotus flower...and in the middle...in the center, is the overlapping form of male and female.

where love is balanced....the heart is unselfish....and wants to spread the love and joy around.

always insightful to read about the many cultures that color and make our collective knowledge brilliant.

all of them....and love is at the center.....the pure feeling of love....inspiring people....

giving hope....

providing comfort....

love.

leap....and the net will appear

leap and the net will appear....

always push the limits.....why?

because it's exhilarating....and it makes you sleep better at night....to be exhausted from stretching....and growing....and climbing and making a difference around you and in you.  

do something today....that you haven't before....create something that makes you leap....taste past the tip of your tongue.....

because your dreams and desires are waiting for you to make that leap.....take that step.


wake up everyone....

Wake up everyone
How can you sleep at a time like this
Unless the dreamer is the real you

Listen to your voice
The one that tells you
To taste past the tip of your tongue
Leap in, the net will appear

I don't wanna wake before
The dream is over
I'm gonna make it mine

I keep my life on a heavy rotation
Requesting that it's lifting you up, up, up and away
And over to a table at the Gratitude Cafe

And I am finally there
And all the angels they'll be singing
Ah la la la, ah la la la
I la la la la love you

(Jason Mraz...  Make it Mine <3)



I'm literally working on 6 things right this minute....almost simultaneously.....


I'm following your joy, Mr. Mraz.



peace...and love....and planting new seeds.... to grow new dreams...because you should be dreaming right now.

big ones.

<3

inspired....

it is one of those kind of times....when the avalanche of inspiration picks up speed and won't stop....

it just won't stop.

and it is that kind of night where you have to grab up all the ideas and write yourself many many many reminders....

do not forget that awesome idea you just had....because it is blowing my mind.

the kind of ideas....that make you want to do it RIGHT NOW.  but

alas....

I can't.....so I will just smile and wait until the sun comes up and I can do something about it.

the kind of night that makes you feel giddy with the possibilities....

and never sleep.

today....I went into my favorite coffee shop and handed them a small stretched canvas of a coffee bean...rich with golds and browns and reds.



because I love them and they had to shut down recently for a week because of the HUGE amount of rain we got...and the roof collapsed...

and they are a meeting place....for many people...a place to gather and get caffeine....and...

you gotta love that.


you know what else you just gotta love?




paint.

i'm a purveyor of beauty and hope and desire and love and peace....

and that's me.  

every problem is...

pregnant with a solution....

fertile with hope of resolution....a chance to leap that obstacle...

and thus is the thought for the day.


every single problem is pregnant with a solution....I read that today and it made me think....


it is the way of the optimist.... every problem a chance to show the world what they can do about it.


and the optimist smiles as the solution is born.

she's so high....

seriously...

Where does the time go???   Here we are again, Halloween time....and I don't have much time so I want to hit the important points...

weirdly I listened to this song, She's So High, by Tal Bachman....ahhh...the 90's.  

but....I kinda just love it...especially when he mentions Aphrodite....

She's blood, flesh and bone
No tucks or silicone
She's touch, smell, sight, taste and sound

But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen
Yeah, yeah

'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me

First class and fancy free
She's high society
She's got the best of everything

What could a guy like me
Ever really offer?
She's perfect as she can be
Why should I even bother?

'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me

She comes to speak to me
I freeze immediately
'Cause what she says sounds so unreal

and picking up Jude and Zoey,  just the other day at school....Jude handed me this ribbon he got at school...and we had a discussion about drugs.....they have no idea why people would take drugs...if drugs make them feel bad....so precious, beautiful....innocent....with all the hopes and dreams of the world...

and made me think....the best drug to be on is oxytocin.....or a cocktail of that and other ones that make you high...on hope and bliss and whatnot....with no dangerous side effects...well, besides thinking you can spread love to the whole world.  gasp.   the thought.   <3  If I could hand out oxytocin and dopamine....all natural like...I would.... but you gotta make your own.



also....then brought me to an interesting fact about witches and the association with brooms...and riding brooms....and rye....ergot....and hallucinations....and you know....well, look it up.  Google that.

interesting read...about this fungus...and rye bread...and "witches"..... AAANNNNNNDDDDd

anyway....

This year....I'm a cheetah....in leopard spots.  SSSHHHHHHH.  don't tell anyone.   I maintain,

that I am 100% Cheetah....

peace and love and Halloween!  Have a very safe and fun one....from my studio...to yours....



and did you know that Cheetahs are the only one of the big cats who purrrrrrrrr?

breakfast with pollack...

nothing like a shower...and coffee to start things going....and breakfast.....


the best breakfasts can involve....more than.....just....usual breakfast fare....eggs and juice.....etc.  coffee, croissants....



breaking a fast....can mean many things....breaking the fasting of what you want to do....or who you want to be...


feeding the soul.....

the soul needs some food....fuel...to keep moving forward and....really feel satisfied.


so find your food....and get moving.....

it's time to have breakfast.  


peace...and love and breaking fasts.

soul to soul...

I remember walking into a record store....when I was in high school....when visiting my Dad who lived in Washington D.C....

and hearing...

for the first time.....the music of Soul II Soul....it shaped my whole year after that... it just...was one of those albums....that you hear at the right time....and it molds you...like water over stone....and shapes your soul a little bit at a time...

it flows through you and fills the grooves of growing up and trying to figure out who you are at that awkward part in your life where....your whole life is in front of you....

and well, it just really is an awesome album.

and in high school, I painted the album cover....because I loved it so much...which brings me to another thing...

there are things that mold you so much... one being...high school.   I had an awesome high school experience....I had friends....friends who felt like family... and so that....if I took a Friday night to be a painting recluse....I knew that I'd still have friends post-creative time.  I didn't have to jump at every friend gathering to show my presence to be accepted...and there were a lot of us to hang out with....my friend pool....was big....and awesome...and supportive....and really quite remarkable and I'm blessed to have been surrounded with such awesome people.....people I still know and love today.

I left that high school situation with the confidence that I didn't need to jump at or grasp at friendships that didn't work.

you speak to the ones you speak to you.....heart to heart...and soul to soul.  :)

anima ad animam....

and that is what I carry with me....

I'm ok alone....I'm ok in groups.



Keep On Moving, Soul II Soul,

Keep on movin'
Don't stop like the hands of time
Click clock, find your own way to stay
The time will come one day

Why do people
Choose to live their lives this way?

Keep on movin', don't stop, no
Keep on movin'

Keep on movin'
Keep on movin', don't stop no
Keep on movin'

It's our time, time today
The right time is here to stay
Stay in my life, my life always
Yellow is the color of sun rays

I hide myself from no one
I know the time will surely come when
You'll be in my life, my life always
Yellow is the color of sun rays   (Soul II Soul, 1989) 

and finding people who speak to your heart...having a common language.....

is pretty spectacular.

you know who speaks my language?   Jason Mraz.   Oh...man.  Jason Mraz...if you are listening....can I come hang out with you at your Avocado farm?  OMG.  and maybe we can play guitar together?

if you are reading this.... Mr. Jason Mraz....

I can paint avocados.....

it could be like....Charlie and the Chocolate Factory..... just think about it. 

you can find me at:  16 Cheetahs Studio.....