love...love...love...essential

the icelandic word for electricity, literally means...amber power.....rafmagn.....

and as I hung out with the kids at the pool today....I thought of something that recently entered into my mind...one of those moments....where you just figured out something...something deep that you kinda, just go...huh.

like when I was doing linguistics research....and had a hunch....about something....something intuitive....that you later can actually see as concrete...in relation to other things...you see a pattern that makes sense....and that pattern proves to be...solidly true....

and so.....I begin...

every square inch of a watercolor is a painting in itself....mikros cosmos...a wondrously perfect miniatured miracle.

the effortless transformation of paint and paper brought together by water....I say effortless because on a watermark scale....what happens with paper, paint, and water is not really manipulated by the creator....free will...happens.

paint and paper....a yin and yang relationship...where two solids...adhere together creating beauty...and inspiration...moved by water....moved by love.

love....the water....that makes miracles happen....

sometimes, love...well, if humans are open to the endless possibilities of love...that love is the most beautiful, soul quenching love...it takes both paint and paper to be ready for what water will do..

and when water does...what water needs to do...and paper and paint are willing....

it transforms both....into something they weren't before.

and

that...

is why I love watercolors.....

because...it ain't what you do...it's the way that you do it....

sometimes, in order to be completely ready for the intense transformation of water...you need to go with the flow...as my grandmother says, and just feel....the love you feel is reflected by the love you are open to....meaning...the more you open your heart...the more intense you will feel love....
like a valve...

close it by half...and that's what you get.....

I stumbled upon this today....after I wrote my blog....

"when the wisdom of the heart replaces the chatter of the mind, the power of love flows forth...

to the extent that our mental focus is on blessing rather than condemnation, we are in our natural state and love can find us....every thought and every word determines that...
In the state of love, we are magnets for love...we are literally more lovable and more enjoyable to love.

Love becomes intoxicating, and that is how it should be."    (Williamson, M. 2001).

and so here...

I know it's a long blog...but....the song...that reminds me of the power....of just.....love...and this song-  an example of leitmotif. :)


love, they will be done
I can no longer hide
I can no longer run
no longer can I resist the guiding light,
it give me the power to keep up the fight....

love, thy will be done
since I have found you my life has just begun
and I see all of your creations as one
perfect complex

no one less beautiful or
more special than the next
we are all blessed and so wise to accept
thy will love, be done

love, thy will be mine,
and make me strive for the glorious and divine
I could not be more- more satisfied
even when there's no peace outside my window
there's peace inside
and that's why I no longer run...------

also, how?  how do you experience more love?  be open to more love?  acceptance....no fear...take the ceiling off, shake off the old limitations....embrace, beauty and truth and goodness.  :)

Be love....

peace...and love....and that is all.  

don't you (forget about me)

ahhh,

today....let's talk about leechdom and galdur....because...I'm stuck in a hotel room with a sick little girl...and a little boy who is bouncing off the walls...on beds...chairs...you name it...

so....to the people who are directly beneath us in the hotel... I am sorry. :)  about the miniature horse herd stomping above your head.

and because you can only watch so many movies in a day....

I need some galdur....

stay with me...this is going to be a meandering stream of thoughts today....

I am planning things only 20 minutes ahead today....thinking about what I will need in 20 minutes...from now...

what she will need...what he will need....it's all just 20 minutes from now...

and LEGO!  oh right, LEGO..... I picked up a couple of lego sets for the little guy to keep him occupied in this state of pause....

because, if you know me...you know...I'm basically...step, 1 and 2...step 3 is all about prep-work, which is not my thing...or my strength....remember...I can't wrap gifts...well I can- but they are more....free-style.  measuring the paper to fit the gift= prep work....blech.

and so anyway..,
galdur.....it's Icelandic for, magic....I could use some magic right now...and speaking of Icelandic....at a linguistics party one year....someone made a geeky linguistics joke..and the punchline was something...'except for Icelandic'.....or something...because- apparently....Icelandic is always the exception...of course....that's just the joke...I'm sure Icelandic is completely awesomely regular just like any language.

so...yes....if anyone can magically make Zoey feel better.... it would be completely awesome...

and so...my leechdom consists of loving motherly care....lots of fluids...and anticipating needs...

20 minutes from now...continually re-assessing...and navigating the day....gently.

oh...and coffee....for me....with lots of cream.


what do you do when you're stuck in a hotel room?  well, I paint...


oh...and experiment with hair color as well.... yeah....I picked up some really bright pink...wish me luck....

oh, and I listen to songs like....this one by Simple Minds, which makes me want to have a John Hughes marathon.....and talk about the summer I spent with my friend Greta, in Evanston, IL.

hey, hey, hey, hey!

oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh.  

Won't you come see about me? 
I'll be alone...dancing you know it baby...

Tell me your troubles and doubts, 
giving me everything inside and out..

love's strange, so real in the dark
think of the tender things that we were working on

slow change may pull us apart
when the light gets into your heart, baby

Don't you...forget about me...
don't don't dont' dont'....don't you forget about me...

will you stand above me? 
look my way, never love me...
rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling....
down...down...down....down...

Don't you, try to pretend
It's my feeling, we'll win in the end
I won't...harm you or touch your defenses, 
vanity....and security...

going to take you apart, 
I'll put us back together at heart, baby...

peace....love...and being resourceful..... :)  my Dad says I'm resourceful.  

#simpleminds
#watercolors

surrounded.....

sometimes...

it seems like you are all alone....but....

you never are.


there's light and warmth around you...all the time...people who love you....people who look out for you....

free to dive and swim...in a great big ocean of it...

it's not an ocean of fear....and doubt...it's an ocean of possibility....love...and peace...and it's all yours.

it surrounds you....


every single day.

today...Zoey is sick...with the flu...or something flu-like.  and when you're sick...you want your Mom...surrounding you....and as a parent, you have to fight a thousand battles...and it makes you stronger...


today and yesterday....I've been painting ocean animals....I'm not sure why...maybe it will make sense to someone else...or maybe they get what they need here...

surrounded, by Chantel Kreviazuk....

I was there when you shone
as bright as Bethlehem, from a far,

I was there when you were young and strong and perverted
and everything that makes a young man a star,
oh you were a star....
I was there and I swear to God
and on my mother's grave
on everything I have or ever will embrace,

I was there and I saw it with my own two eyes...
and now...
it's all around me...


it's all around me... I'm surrounded
you surround me like a circle...but don't you lose sight of me now...don't you lose sight of me now...



peace...and love....and the great big vast ocean of life.....

seeing stars....

all is calm in the eye of the storm....it's where I'm trying to stay....

since we drove for 2.5 days...we are just a little out of sorts...it seems....finally getting veggies in us...but it seems...


the long drive....exposed us to some germs....Jude has a cold....Zoey is having tummy issues....and now....

another one is about to bite the dust.

so......i'm just gonna try to ride in the eye of the storm.....

you know...when you anticipate a pile of snow coming....and you run to the store to get milk and other things you will need...

that's how I felt today... just....getting some supplies so that I can stay in and not have to make trips out to get food or anything....and I'm stocked...in a hotel room...with two little ones...making crafts...

you know...because as an artist...of course- I brought all my art stuff....scissors, glue, tape, cool paper, markers, watercolors....

and the floor is turning into a snowflake factory....

and that is awesome...


and this song, I heard today on the radio...kinda makes sense....like....seeing the glass half full.....rather than half empty....instead of seeing scars....I'm only seeing stars....see the bright bright beauty....


bugs out on the water, make it look like rain,
leaves on every tree, once again turning,
summer's past but it's never far...

if you look real close you might see scars,
but me...yeah, me- I'm only seeing stars...

evening light, on a gravel path,

I could be scared but I've had enough of that,
oh, big old moon, rising up
even in this light you might see scars,
but me, yeah, me...I'm only seeing stars...

when they take everything
and you've got nothing left
a deer in the headlights in your hospital bed,
just dreaming of a simple life,
a gentle man, a solid night,
me and the dog, down at the reservoir,
if you look real close you might see scars...
but me...yeah, me- I'm only seeing stars...




peace...and love...and....stars....and snowflakes.....

I won't give up....

(warning, coarse language. :)



I've been driving for two and a half days....across prairies...thankfully avoiding road hazards....to come here.

i'm back!!!

I drove with two crazies....to come visit my Mom...who, has kind of.....shut off the world...and has given up on anything being better for her.....

I'm going to try to change that.....


I've been thinking about this blog along the way.....driving...you have a lot of time...I listened to some great music...and every single mile had a painting in it.

I looked out the windows....mentally painted landscape after landscape...mixing just the right tone of yellow ochre to convey...

the golden honey glazed fields illuminated by the setting sun.....

and powder blue skies....filled with stripes of clouds....fields polka dotted with black cows....

and I thought of ways to.....resuscitate a life....how do you breathe life into a person who is breathing?  

I wish there was an easy answer.  

originally...this post was going to be called, Someone Saved my life....after the Elton John song....because....I truly believe someone saved my life a few times on this road trip....

but now...

it's all about this song...by Jason Mraz.

When I look into your eyes, 
it's like watching the night sky
or a beautiful sunrise
well, there's so much they hold
and just like them old stars, 
I see that you've come so far
to be right where you are...
how old is your soul? 


I won't give up on us
even if the skies get rough
i'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
and when you're needing your space
to do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
to see what you find...

...I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily 
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use 
the tools and the gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake
and in the end, you're still my friend, at least we did intent
for us to work, we didn't break, we didn't burn...
we had to learn how to bend without the world caving in, 
I had to learn 
what I've got
and what I'm not
and who I am.

so, yes....here I am.... trying to save a life....breathing some life into a world that is low on oxygen....



and something key she said to me today...when I asked her...about- typical kid behavior....and how...Zoey was asking me over and over and over if we could go do something....

my Mom said,

"Kelly, as a kid...you would never take 'no' for an answer" .....

well, she should know then.....I won't really give up...


also....driving for two days....and quick gas station stops....meant no veggies....by today, all i wanted was this... (threadless.com shirt design, Raw Truth)

peace and love...and not giving up and being one determined mo fo, my whole life...which will probably bring me to part B of this blog. :)  I know...it's been awhile. I have a lot to catch up on...

cleaning...

cleaning out the car... I did not find any goldfish...

oh...man...the things I found....did I mention I have two little crazies?

I was going through the car of what to throw and what to keep....

and....I found a blue paperclip....and as I was trying to decide whether I should throw it or keep it..

i thought...

huh, this actually might be helpful defusing a bomb?  maybe?  Maybe I should keep it.

orange duct tape.....definitely need that in the car, for sure....

but...

probably don't need all the old french fries....

but...

probably DO need assorted matchbox cars and lip glosses...one can never have enough of those items.


probably...do NOT need really gross old kid mitten that has been soaked with hot chocolate and is now crusty...and missing it's match...

but probably DO need...my Naples Yellow that fell between the driver's seat and console that I've been missing for weeks.


oh...dear friend...how I've missed you.....


today.....the fish.....which seems so appropriate today....since Pisces are...well...fish....and such the sensitive artist types.....with heads in the clouds.....but apparently...my kind of Pisces...is a flying fish....who can against all...

make dreams come true.

during the painting of this picture....it was all Paul Simon....a little Late in the Evening music....I think my favorite is Hearts and Bones...

i just love that song...

music to paint to...and move to...







peace...and love....and dreams....

and gold and goldfish...

and rainbows....

and all that magical stuff...

Calling all Angels....

today...love.

it was a normal day....racing around trying to get kids ready...running numerous errands...always thinking ahead ten minutes to figure out what I need to do next...

I dropped Jude off at school...totally forgot that I had to bring a picture of a jungle animal to school with him....

I ran back out to the car...found a perfect piece of cardstock and some markers and set to work drawing and coloring a toucan....because...as an artist...that's the kind of shit you can grab out of your back pocket.....

bam.

toucan.....

and off to the next stop....

and as I drove to the car dealership...to have them take a look at a passenger side mirror that I crunched against the garage....

I saw a man....trying to get some change from cars stopped at the intersection...and I immediately was drawn to him....

My car was a few back...and as I reached for some change...the light turned green....and I was off to the car place...

but....I thought...I'm going to come back this way...so I'll make a point to get to him...and

when I finished...with the car place...I passed the intersection...saw him on the other side, so I knew I had to do a U-turn to head back his way...

oh...yeah.  I wasn't gonna let this go.

I grabbed a marker...drew a heart and a smile on a napkin....grabbed a juice box (as a mom, the car is like a damn concession stand....so juice boxes are handy) and some money...

and as I circled back to where he was...he was already headed down the sidewalk away from the intersection....

so I tailed him.

that's right....I wasn't letting him go. :)

and I followed him to the parking lot of a Walgreen's type of place....where he was putting down his backpack.

I pulled right up to him.  He was an older gentleman...scruffy beard....

"Sir, I saw you at the intersection, but missed you, so...here you go."  I handed him the goods...and gave him a big hug.

and felt...like angels were hugging him, as I did.  He smiled...and thanked me and asked if I had kids...

I said, yes, two.

He said...they are blessed to have a mom like you.

I said, thanks... :) and ..."I'll see you later."


sometimes....we all need to do some angel work....and give people a reason to hope for something...to just bring the smile to a stranger's face...someone down on their luck....

I don't care what he does with the money I gave him...it's not my job to judge him....it's my job to show him a sign and give him a hug....

so....here.....Calling All Angels....

I need a sign to let me know you're here
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere...
I need to know that things are gonna look up
'cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup

When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head
when you feel the world shake from the words that are said...


and I'm calling all angels....

I won't give up...if you don't give up.....

I need a sign to let me know you're here
'cause my tv set just keeps it all from being clear
I want a reason for the way things have to be
i need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me....

I'm...calling all angels...

so...here's to hope...and love...and peace....and walking the earth....

being that sign to people....because

 love...

changes everything. 

#angels
#love
#watercolors

in repair...

when I lived in Tempe, AZ...I went with a friend...to see Glen Phillips play at the Big Fish Pub....so excited...it was, after Toad the Wet Sprocket's prime time...and it was going to be...just Glen...playing a small venue...but I'm all over live music....

we both were looking forward to the concert.... and when we got there....we saw....there was some guy opening....

yeah, we had questions about that earlier...like- I wonder if the concert is actually going to start at the time on the ticket...or if there is some opening dude...

and yeah...we got there...and read....on the flyer....some guy....named, John Mayer opening.

who the EFF is this guy?  god.... I just want to hear Glen Phillips...seriously...who is this guy....god.


and then he started.....and it was over before I knew what hit me...and to top it all off...he covered Message in a Bottle....which...as a Sting/Police fan...I pretty much just lost it.

yeah.  John Mayer.

and....after he did his thing...he was selling his CDs off to the side....crazy...all ages show....we passed through the small crowd....walked up to him...and said, "wow, great job!"   HAHAHAHAHAHAH.

ohhhh, man.   I didn't buy a CD....I should have.


anyway.   He is brilliant...as a musician...and as a dude, that just....he's funny...and he's smart....and when he isn't saying things that get him in trouble....he's saying some pretty awesome things....


watching a clip of John Mayer working on the song, "In Repair"

he said,

"we are always either on the way down or the way up....those moments when those things come apart...set you up for moments of putting it all back together....


there's a beauty....of this idea...of being in repair...."


and.....me.....I love this.....part of me never wants to finish a painting...I almost hate feeling like I've painted...and painted and there's no more to paint....I kinda like seeing something incomplete....

that there isn't a finality to it...that it hangs there living on....breathing and not being so defined that it is done....that it still has a journey that could go in a million different directions....

because....

the journey is never over....the discovery....the mystery....the magic....

I'm in repair, I'm not together....but I'm getting there.



peace...and love...and being in repair....ripping it down to put it back together....

#johnmayer
#acrylicpaint
#turkishman

42 flavors...

I am....almost 42 flavors....almost....

which makes me think of the Ani DiFranco song, 32 flavors....

on this day...when I'm still 41 flavors....I carry with me the wisdom of 41 years....and the taste of 41 flavors...

with many things to learn...

I'm nobody...but I am someone.  

squint your eyes, and look closer...

I'm not between you and your ambition, 

I am a poster girl with no poster, 

I am thirty-two flavors and then some....

and I'm beyond your peripheral vision

So you might want to turn your head

'cause someday you're going to get hungry

and eat most of the words you just said...

...

and god help you if you are a phoenix, 

and you dare to rise up from the ash....

a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy...

while

you 

are just

flying....

past. 

I am 32 flavors and then some...taking my chances as they come...

I am nobody...but I am someone, I am 32 flavors and then some...

(32 flavors, Ani DiFranco) 

the waterlily...and the lotus....emerge...from a mucky muddy pond bottom....and shine....beautiful things...

love and peace....and the things that come out of ash and mud...and kick ass.  

in the mood...

I'm in the mood for a melody....I'm in the mood for a melody...

I'm in the mood.  :)  I love that Robert Plant song.....love it.  It makes me feel like...I'm at the beach...just chill.

soaking in some rays....

I think nothing- I mean...no other song... makes me shine like the sun....like this one.


I have upgraded....everything.  I am using Daniel Smith watercolors, which blow my mind....

I even have better watercolor brushes....and in a previous post, I mentioned how, I use really cheap...crayola brushes....they are completely fine.  :)  in fact, I just found some really awesome crayola ones...which totally look like other nice watercolor brushes.

but anyway...I upgraded my brushes to some Robert Simmons brushes...I'm not sure I notice the difference...

I have even used Arches paper....expensive stuff....and one of my favorite watercolors was on cheap cheap paper...and the other was on multi-medium paper....not even proper watercolor paper.

but...you know what....the thing that matters the most to me.....when painting....

chocolate.  and music.

both...put me in a mood.

a mood to paint. :)    some good....chocolate...I think....a 46% cacao....beautiful....and some awesome music.

This sketch today....completely captures me...how I read....hand....always to mouth.  

I'm in the mood for a melody...

I can make you dance, I can make you sing, 
fi you want me to....
I can make you dance, I can make you sing, 
if you want me to.  

Any little song that you want to sing, 
little songs that you want to sing, 
any song will do...

any little song that you want to sing, little songs that you want to sing, it's up to you....

I can write it on the door, I can put it on the floor, 
I cn do anything that you want me for, 

if you want me to, 
I can do it right, I can do it wrong, 
'cause a matter of fact, It'll turn out to be strong...

if you want me to.  

peace...and love...and chocolate and music....and Robert Plant and fairies, with really good summer reading.  

Island in the Sun...

today is a day for dreams....if you don't have both hands on tight to that big parachute that is about to take off in the wind...you might lose your grasp...

so hold on tight...to dreams.  

the sun today....felt....amazing....and makes me think of spring...and beginnings....and summer.  

and sometimes....dreams can be an island in the sun...

so go there...and soak it in. 

so....for today, Island in the Sun...

When you're on a holiday
You can't fine the words to say
all the things that come to you
and I wanna feel it too

on an island in the sun
we'll be playing and having fun
and it makes me feel so fine
I can't control my brain....

when you're on a golden sea

You don't need no memory...

Just a place to call your own


as we drift into the zone... (Weezer, Island in the Sun)

We'll run away together, we'll spend some time forever
we'll never feel bad anymore...

here's to...peace...and love...and summer sun....not too far away.....

always a day closer....

just like dreams....always one more day closer to reality. 

<3

omne trium perfectum...

why is three a magic number?   there seems to be some....appeal for things in three, a preference...something that maybe...we aren't entirely conscious of...


take.....fairy tales,

three blind mice, three bears, three little kittens...who lost their mittens....

in literature, in creative writing....there seems to be a desire for a balance of three.

In the words of Aristotle, "All things are three, and thrice is all: and let us use this number in the worship of the gods; for, as the Pythagoreans say, everything and all things are bounded by threes..." (Weigall, 1928, 197-198)


as well...

the Latin phrase, 'Vini, Vedi, Vici'...attributed to Julius Caesar... or what about,

"ready, set, go"..... the creative world....is full of threes.

There's even, recently a TED radio talk (<link  :)  about how three is the magic number in drumming sets (rhythm and math intersect).

and can be heard in Cuban rhythm of Tresillo...which was probably introduced and influenced by African rhythms....the diaspora of these triplet beats spreads widely across the globe...


but threes....are not only prevalent in human creative outlets...

....so much evidence in chemistry...and physics and biology-  that points to threes.

You can google that....I won't put it all here...


so what the hell is the point?  three points...actually.  :)

1.  some things in the world are so powerful and present, you don't even realize it...this doesn't mean these things don't exist or don't have a profound impact on the world around us.


2.  universal preferences for things link us all together...emphasizing our similarities rather than our differences...linguistics is a great example of how different yet similar people of the world are....the more differences you find...the more similarities you will also find.


3.  there's a reason...even if something seems completely mysterious and random....there always...seems to be a reason for it...and sometimes this reason comes out through

blood, sweat, and tears.  :)





peace...and love...and three leaf clovers....because, they are perfection...

there's really no need to go searching for the 4 leaf clover.... :)  

3 leaf clovers....

perfectly, magical, balanced

 three.  

so what'cha want?

picture it....picture your desires in your head...picture them in detail....walk around in that dream and feel what it feels like to be there...now....are you happy there?  yes...of course you are...

there...

you are welcome.


that is the first step.....step into your dream....act and feel as if you are there....indeed you will be.


but you gotta know what you want.  there's no half-assing this one. you gotta throw both cheeks into it.

:) it doesn't matter...how...or when....just do it.   give your dream a shape....feel it..sculpt it...define it in a way....a way that you can feel it and go there....


so whatcha want?    people want happiness...not just the kind of happiness that comes when you drink in something fleeting that makes you happy...but the kind of drunk happy that makes you feel you are swimming in an ocean of happy....

it's when the string of warm asylums are so frequent....it makes you feel true....deep happiness.

but wanting happiness....it way to...vague....you gotta give it some shape....and know what you want...and sometimes....recognizing what you DON'T want...gives shape and light...defining in a way...what you do want.  It's like...knowing you don't want to spend the rest of your life in antarctica....so....you know you want to live in Arcadia.....and sometimes...you don't give yourself enough room to dream...and say...damnit....I don't want to just....NOT live in Antarctica....but...  I WANT TO live in Utopia.....

and sometimes...you get bored with just....touching the reflection of stars in the pond....sometimes...you gotta look up and say.....

I'm going to touch a star.....

not just a reflection.

so....dream....

big.

if you don't dream big....you'll never get there....

I don't believe in stop signs....


...but like a dream I'm flowing without no stopping, 
sweeter than a cherry pie with ready whip topping going' from mic
to mic 

kickin' it wall to wall well I'll be calling out you people
like a casting call 
it's back when you're jacked in the back of a ride...

with your know with your flow when you're out getting by

believe me...what you see is what you get and you see me coming off

as you can bet...


(so what'cha want, Beastie Boys) 



peace...and love....and never stop....there are no stop signs in dreams....maybe there's....blinking traffic lights?  i have no idea what those mean....so, I just disregard....

play on.