don't change...

we all change...over the years....if we didn't...and we stayed exactly the same as, let's say....when we were 18 we would all be asses.  

JUST KIDDING!

but seriously.....we've all changed....but, yet- there is a piece of you...that never changes...something in your core that makes you....so wonderfully you.  

and what happens when someone realizes that they don't really want that wonderful you anymore?  

are you supposed to change?  to make someone else happy?  I think it's hard...and people lose sight of the importance of changing and not changing....

so crazy, huh?  yeah, change is good...we all change...and grow...and whatnot, but there are going to be things...

things that people shouldn't try to change about you.  

and today...in the car, I heard a cover of this INXS song....and it was pretty...

and it made me think of my friend Connie....and other people like her...who, are....so wonderful...and who should honor that...and they end up marrying, 

they end up with a person who....they just....don't bring out each other's potential....and for each to change...would be...both living as fake plastic trees together....nobody can live like that. 

and it's not the end of the world...the sky isn't falling...and it's important to honor the happiness...so many years spent together, unhappily married....

for what?  

probably seems like...the worst thing...but really....it is the best thing for all...it just takes some time to see it...when the dust settles....things are better.  

and that's....the silver lining... something that may seem so tragic...

might be the thing that is the most magic....

INXS, Don't Change...

I'm standing here on the ground

The sky above won't fall down

see no evil in all direction

Resolution of happiness

things have been dark for too long, 

don't change for you, 

don't change a thing, for me...

I found a love I had lost

It was gone for too long

Hear no evil in all directions

Execution of bitterness

Message received loud and clear

don't change for you

don't change a thing...for me. 

peace...and love....and honoring yourself.  don't change too much. :) 

magnanimity...

if you want something you never had....you have to do something you've never done...

you need to be brave and face fear...maintain poise and grace through hard times, 

believe in a higher purpose, an elevated soul....

selflessly help others....feel love and sunshine...

I think...

I could safely say....

I wear

three types of footwear......


boots.

flip-flops


and  converse slip ons...

and that....


is

all.

Boots are usually on....from Nov- March....when the weather is colder than 40 and snow....

converse are on...usually...when it's warmer than 40...no snow...and sunny...or raining.

flip flops are on...when it's around 50...

flip flops will always be on in Texas...and I am going to miss wearing my boots...

but boots are for winter....and you have to change your footwear with the change of the season....change of location....

and change...


of needs.

I mean..you can't expect to wear boots around your whole life..things change, winter doesn't last forever..

...and with that change...

you need to listen to your needs... because when you love and respect yourself and listen to changing times, you also look out for others...and wish the best for them....instead of getting hung up on pettiness...

and sometimes people will make you think and feel that you are less than you are...when they do that...it's not you...it's them....usually people treat you crappy because they feel crappy inside, not because you're crappy.


you can't be....and aren't defined by that....only you can define yourself....and when you let others define you....you give them power to do so...it's about believing in yourself and loving yourself...and being....

magnanimous.....

sometimes by being strong within yourself...and changing the way you do things...changes things around you....and sets wonderful things around you....in motion....but it takes strength....to want life to be different...to set out on a voyage you've never been on....



but...ummmm.....I do have way too many flip flops...but....oh my goodness....it makes me think of something I want to try.....

Lucky Night

i've tried a lot...and most things excited me...but what tops it off...is doing two things at a time.... 




(Sugarcubes, Lucky Night)

and I love doing things that involve a bunch of senses....

you know...like driving, long distance...taking it all in....drinking a latte....listening to music....

recharging...brainstorming....getting ideas....dreaming of dreams.

feeling sand between your toes and watching a sunset....(sunrises are difficult for me, I'm not a morning person).


and one thing I really love doing is taking an old painting...and re-working it....giving it new life...

this is especially true for old oil...or acrylic canvases....painting over something allows me to use what I like...change what I don't....but all that I did in the old painting...strokes and colors...helped me grow....experience....to bring something different to the new...appreciating lessons learned...

huh.  kind of like life...see how I do that?  HAHAHAHAHahahahhahaha....om. something I've been reading a whole lot about...embracing things....that liberate you.....and parting ways with things that limit.....

does it liberate?  or does it limit?   ask yourself that.  life is too short to spend it in a box...or let other people define and dictate

and this painting today....I cut out a scrap of watercolor from another larger doodle...so all the blue was there.....but....

I fit the figure in the blue....not really sure how the new would co-exist with the old....but you know....

sometimes....co-existing with what was there before is necessary....

you can't just....ignore what was there before....but somehow you need to learn to grow from it...work through it...find some harmony....a harmonious existence...

and sometimes....

well

a lot of times....

well,

always....


it is hard work...but the work is worth it...for something better than could ever be imagined.



peace....love....and always...learning and growing...and building...and creating....

peace and harmony.  

What a dream I had.....

once, I was painting an oil painting....of a woman in the water....I'll have to post it somewhere...it kind of reminded me of someone...somehow...lost at sea?  clinging to a rock, yet peacefully all alone....

and weirdly...the song,

For Emily, Wherever I May Find Her....kind of just touched me as I painted...and set the mood for the painting for me....

and it was a late night of painting....and I listened to that song....over and over....

there's something haunting and peaceful about Art Garfunkel's voice...and I can't say that I'm a huge fan....but...a couple of songs speak to me....and so....for some really weird reason...

I got an itch to paint Art Garfunkel.....a picture of a young Art...

and then it struck me to use this....cling wrap technique for his hair....


and I think this is a perfect time to just....indulge in a whim....to entertain directions that take you to places you haven't been....


to listen to, really listen to whatever comes up and say....yeah...I'm gonna try that....because why not?

and so....I decided to listen....and go with it.....who knows why it entered in my mind to do this?

Ha....I have no idea why, I still don't...but....there was something about his picture that made me want to paint it.

and so....simply.

I did.

there's something rewarding about having an idea....


and following through with it....

and seeing how...

it comes

to

be.



peace and love....and listening to whims.....

there doesn't always need to be a reason to do something....

sometimes a whim, just needs to be heard.  

hawk from a handsaw...

oh, I can tell the difference between a hawk and a handsaw....indeed.  birds and tools.  

*pause for side tracking...

there is a rule I have in the car....that the kids know...so well.....there is no talking when Tears for Fears is on... 

when I was trying to figure out what a hawk (tool) was....I ran into this little gem, from Shakespeare...

discussed at the Word Detective...

"to know a hawk from a handsaw, means to be able to correctly perceive reality, to be able to tell things apart, to generally know what's going on and, at a minimum, not to be nuts.  It comes from Shakespeare's 1604 play, Hamlet, Act II, scene 2.  Hamlet, who has been acting more than a bit loopy, gets into a conversation with the courtiers Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, in the course of which he hints that his apparent madness may be a tactical pose he adopts at specific times, and not true dementia, saying - 'I am but mad North North west; when the wind is Southerly, I knowe a hauke, from a hand saw." 

Word detective goes on to include that, in fact, the handsaw referenced here....is actually speaking of the bird, called at the time, a 'heronshaw'...a heron.  So Hamlet was comparing two birds in this case... :) oooooh, the things you can learn.   

and learn you should.  

but hey....there's people in this world who don't know hawk from handsaw...(comparing two tools here)....and there's people who indeed do....know, hawk from handsaw....

where am I going here?  seems like nowhere.....or...is it? 

reality.....what is reality?  I've written about this before....we create our own realities...our world in our minds....our hopes and dreams, our outlook on life...our interface with the world...

and 

sometimes, realities crash together in a discordant mess....

and sometimes...

when some magnificently beautiful, loving realities collide with other magnificent beautiful and loving realities...

it can birth stars....and ideas that get shared...the ideas and dreams and worlds created...

are by far...

the brightest and loveliest

of all.  

and.....for some reason...the sun...and the heat of a springish day.....it's a Tears for Fears kind of day....once when I was at a linguistics institute thing, at Stanford....I rented a car...and drove to the Mountain Winery....and saw Tears for Fears in concert at the awesome outdoor venue....by myself.

that's what I do....I don't let...let's say...not having someone to go do stuff with stop me....

because if you let that stop you....that seems like a pretty lame excuse to me.  Yeah, sure, would it be fun to go with someone?  yeah.... but...am I not going because I can't find anyone to go with? 

nope. I'm going.  

you know...because....you have to.....you have to do stuff like that...and some people, might think

maybe...

I don't know a hawk from a handsaw- but hey.....who's doing the fun? and who's just sitting there thinking about the fun....

so, head over heels... tears for fears....

I wanted to be with you alone, and talk about the weather...

but traditions I can trace against the child in your face

won't escape my attention...

something happens and i'm head over heels, I never find out, till I'm head over heels...

I made a fire and watching it burn, 

thought of your future, 

with one foot in the past now, just how long will it last, 

no, no no....have you no ambition? 

....and this is my....

four leaf clover.  

Here's to peace...and love...and shared magnificent realities...  

believe.

here's the thing....this is going to be long.... :)

Today...the kids went along with Daddy to Walmart to get a new car battery...after the car battery died...completely after Jude left the light on to search for a baseball in the car (it's 6 years old- the car battery...not the baseball, or Jude).


so, anyway....

Before they left, Zoey brought along a new journal and pen she just got from Grandpa, (to celebrate Eeyore's birthday- it's an Austin, TX thing. :) ).


Journal: ahhhhh....the crested Caracara.  :)

She loves birds...soooo......


and yes, it is taking a bit to develop the story and scene....so thanks for hanging with me.....


and so....anyway....

at Walmart....they made a few stops...car battery....household cleaners....baseball..toy area....and then they headed to grab some lunch....at a shwarma place.

Zoey brought her journal into Walmart....and you can probably see where this is going.....


after lunch, she realized that she set her journal down somewhere in Walmart.....and so....back to Walmart they went....retracing steps...looking.   and nothing.  no journal found.

and they came home.

When Zoey walked into the house, she had a new pink baseball glove....and her face was red from crying.  She was excited to tell me about her new glove...and then just...burst into tears and said that she lost the journal that she just got today......crying....and devastated....I was hugging her and for some reason...

I felt....something different.  Usually as a parent... I take that opportunity to tell her about how maybe that's a good lesson....that....we shouldn't bring stuff like that into stores where we can lose them....(you, know...that kind of...sh#t happens type of lesson that kind of sucks ass).

I don't know....something was different...and I felt an overwhelming calmness take over....and I said....

we're gonna go find it.  

because....I believed that we were...and I knew that we were....I knew it and for some reason...I was kind of....guided to just....I needed to do this...for her.....that this kind of lesson was important today.

through tears....she asked me, "Promise?"  

and I said.  "yes, I promise, because we will find it.  :) "  and because...I really didn't see any other option....all I knew was that....we would find this journal.  It meant so much to her...

it wasn't like...."wow, I hope we find it let's go try, but there's a chance we won't find it."

It was..."we are going to find it...so let's go get it."  there's a big difference there....

one is....hope with doubt...

one is just belief and confidence.....with no room for anything else.  and that's what I had..


After I grabbed some lunch....because I was starving....we left.

and I just...kinda knew.....yes, in Walmart....crazy on a Saturday....I was going to find that journal.

and I asked for help.  :)   as we walked into the store, I put out a request for help....because....that's what you do when you lose stuff.....you grab your team....and get their help...and I'm not talking about Walmart workers....I'm talking, you know...the heavy hitters.   you know what I mean.

She walked me through the store, where they stopped, what they did....we looked around...and I kept going back to the car battery area.....for some reason....I kinda just felt that's where I'd find it...

and I asked a couple of workers....if they had seen a journal....with a bird on it...  and as I talked to one older gentleman who is normally in Hardware, if he had seen it.....something pulled me to glance at a shelf next to us...

there..it....was.

found. BAM.  

We walked out of there.....pretty happy....and I told her I'd take her to Starbucks because I needed to grab a new french press...and I'd get her a treat....  :)  

We got to Starbucks....and a couple of firemen let us go ahead of them....which was sweet.

and I recognized a girl who works there.....we chat sometimes, but I never knew her name....and I glanced at her name tag to see what it was....

and....

voila.  

awesome.   ha!  :)

and while I was at it....I bought the firemen their coffee....and chatted about their Fire Station...and they invited us to pop over any time and check it out....

and we went out to see the truck....we always go see the trucks when they're parked around our neighborhood...at the grocery store and what not....my kids are very familiar with fire trucks...

and Zoey and I talked....

about believing things.....about believing.....that you will find something....and having trust.....

that things aren't really lost....

that things can be found....

and believing is important.

and I wanted to show her something today.....that you can....when you believe.

you can.


peace....and love....and believing....oh, and Gabriel.  :) 

switchbacks of notes

this...is...blog catch up day.....


there's this thing....here is a glimpse into what kind of weird crap I think about.....

and my husband loves the rabbit holes I go down.....

the galaxy of ideas....nebulous.....

I'm not even sure what it is...my ear pics up some weird type of melody, or a sequence of tone changes- well....yes, melody, then, but not a set melody...more of the way high and low contrast each other...

....I've heard it in many different songs...

I'm not even sure what it is...so I'm gathering a list of them, as I hear them....

I know....this is the weird shit that academics do.....  start gathering data to analyze later...because I know I'm hearing something interesting....and I want to figure that shit out...


and so....that's me.   sometimes I think these things are normal...and then I write it out...like here...

and think....huh.

maybe this is a weird thing only...I'm doing...and then I start to research it...and then find out...I find some crazy journal article like in some music journal about exactly what I am trying to figure out....


hahaha.

and so anyway....


when I figure it out...you'll be the first to know.  :)   shoot...if I could explain it...maybe I could even get other people to send me similar songs...and create my own type of corpus....to figure out some kind of very obvious pattern....it's probably mathematical....you know...like a third...or fifth...or something that has to do with sharps and flats...or meandering portamento...whatever the heck it is....

I've started emailing myself names of the songs as I hear them....fascinating...I bet you are on the edge of your seat....

wow.  :)


and so...anyway.....the life of a linguist....the ears are always 'on' and listening...analyzing...how you say shit....and for me...I'm listening to melodies...in music...in language....

I've probably been primed to be a linguist my whole life....I think when you have a parent who says something different than what she is actually saying...you get pretty good at pragmatics and prosody....and those skills get sharpened...

and instead of a syntactician.... I'm a phonologist. voila.

so yeah...I've been training to be a linguist my whole life.  :)


peace...and love....and really....really listening....not just hearing....but....truly listening....

Fónagy, Ivan, and Klara Magdics. "Emotional patterns in intonation and music." STUF-Language Typology and Universals 16.1-4 (1963): 293-326.

Kolinsky, Régine, et al. "Processing interactions between phonology and melody: Vowels sing but consonants

speak." Cognition 112.1 (2009) 

Prosody: The Music of Language and Speech: http://www.asha.org/Publications/leader/2003/030304/030304f.htm

and.....many others...

rompecabezas....

the word, rompecabezas, means 'puzzle' in Spanish....literally...because puzzles are like, head breakers....hahahahah.  

I poured out a 200 piece puzzle of a pug puppy out on the table....and there it sits...until I start working on it and engage Zoey.....

she's a bit intimidated by it...so it takes some encouraging....

and as she tries...and gets discouraged....and I talk to her....I realize...our dialogue...and the profound metaphor for life that this puzzle represents....


I say, " Zoey, stop trying to make them fit, they don't- so move on...."

 (sometimes you need to move on, it's not giving up, it's just recognizing that a better solution, a better fit is around the corner).

and...then, she says, "Nothing I do works." ......and I say,

 "hey, where do you get this givey-upey thing?"

 (just because one thing doesn't work, just....try something different, don't give up, sometimes the piece you need is right in front of you, and you just haven't picked it up yet)


also, you need to be clever...and smart about the pieces you pick up...

if they don't look like they will fit, one is an edge....one isn't....then, hey....maybe they just won't fit.

Pieces don't magically fit because you want them to.... they fit.... because they match...perfectly..

ahhhhh....

lessons.....and life.....and metaphors.......

and traveling.....oh, yeah....traveling with little kids will teach you a lot.....

 I think about the road trips I've taken with kids by myself....and how some people think of it as 'brave'....but there are things you just...do.   

Because that's who you are....that you don't bat a lash at packing up a car with kids and head out....because you know you are resourceful....and strong....

and because worst case hypotheticals never have a chance with me....I don't think about them...they don't enter my mind....you know...the regular hypotheticals that could actually happen...I know I'd deal with them in a practical, resourceful manner..., oh, and probably a bunch of swearing.

however....

once in a while, I entertain a really weird thought...something that is....I won't say "out of the realm of possibilities" because, to me...all things are possible... but...let's say, a slim chance of happening...

but....like...let's say, you woke up from a deep sleep...the room is dark-ish and you realize there is a really big lion in the room....on the floor....standing by the door....


and....go......solve it.....get out of the situation....there is always a way out...but some ways are better than others....

and some ways....get you shredded by a lion....and some ways....get you out without a scratch.

but you know...if you don't entertain survival problems...you get soft.


not everyone appreciates these scenarios....

Jason....doesn't like these kinds of scenarios presented to him...especially not right before going to sleep and....especially not the one where...'ok, you wake up and there's a scorpion on your face'-type of problem.


I say...people are lucky to have me...

make them think these things through.


lucky.





peace...and love...and solving.....rompecabezas.  

faith...

ahhh, I haven't blogged in so so so many days it seems....

a few things I want to mention....I might have a strawberry allergy....which sucks ass, also....that guy from the band Milky Chance....is awesome...I love his absolute - I don't give a flying fuck- expression on his face...

I've had so much buzzing around my head lately....and what's in my blog is probably something that bubbled up a few days ago...and today....

i'm just content....with things moving...and changing....and that...those feelings point to much...to lots of other things to say.... (and talk about our big move).


too much to write, can't even write it all down...

so much i have read lately about life...how sometimes we are stuck between old ways...and new directions....and when you are stuck there...with one foot on the dock and one on the boat...a foot on both sides...your butt sits in the water...


sometimes moving forward is scary.....

1.  step forward....sometimes we don't know where we are going, but we know we must move forward...and that's ok... when you know that you want to go....but not sure what the path will lead you to...you just need to go...it's ok....just move forward...as little as that step is....just move forward. 

2.  questions and answers....and not everything is laid out for you....you don't know...that's ok...sometimes jumping into it and figuring it out on the way, is ok.   

3.  just go..... just walk- take a first step....just carry on and see what happens....is life supposed to just....be the same all the time?

like you look down the road 5 years and see yourself...and what you are doing....and it is all the same.... and the sameness made you grow and go- nowhere....and this influence that the sameness has on you- what has it inspired you to do?  or be? or grow? or influence others?

it's the sameness...the beige-ness- the contentment with not doing a damn thing to strive for passion...that....sucks ass.  

and then there was this thing....that I read, from a blog...crap, I don't remember where it was from, I think Trinitybox...I'll have to confirm this.

"painters are familiar with the discomfort of questions as they watch the development of their paintings.  A problem that at first seems straight forward turns out to be protracted and bewildering.  Each attempt to rectify it only results in further disintegration, leaving the artist feeling powerless and with no answer, and no apparent reason for the absence of an answer." 

he further writes,

"For me there are moments when a painting suddenly and unexpectedly becomes whole and right...and these qualities seems neither affected by its shortcomings, nor justified by its virtues.  This I believe is because there are principles in painting which are deeply embodied in the creative process.  These principles are not easily explained or understood, and cannot be reduced to a set of rules...but they are perceptible and 'followable'.  

and....

I think that....sometimes things suddenly and unexpectedly....just....become whole and right....as this guy says...

you know....because sometimes when something is whole and right....

it's ok to take steps towards it...

peace and love and moving...forward......

Dear Illustrator:

so...

today...it's totally on.  I am collaborating with my Dad on a project.  He wrote a children's book...

and we are totally working together to figure out illustrating it....and it's awesome....


because he has a vision of certain things...and other things...he leaves up to me...but it's kinda...really awesome to work on something together...

so that is fantastic.

the story is set in Washington D.C., in 1908....and it's a story about a heroic little West Highland white terrier....and his group of friends (dog friends)....who save Christmas at the White House.


and what is so amazing...is my Dad....who...continues to create...to inspire...to practice his guitar....to learn new things....to enjoy life....and find his happiness.....

because I know there was a time in his life when he probably wasn't happy...

but he got there...he found his happiness...

....and there comes a time in your life when you realize....Dads are human too...and have to find their peace and happiness.


and I love him... for just.....him being him....and sharing our creativity together...

and I love him for finding his happy.

lover, you should've....

at this moment...I am happy....happy with technology...and the fact that my Mom is emailing me and telling me I take horrible pictures...and that I cut Jude's head off....(OMG, MOM, click on the damn pic and download it...that's just the thumbnail pic in the body of the damn email).....

and in the same minute...getting an email from my Dad...and he addresses me as Dear Illustrator:  

(he always uses colons after he writes my name in emails... it's so formal and hilarious...and I love it.) 

and with that....I will continue with my blog....

I have this friend....she's crazy....crazy awesome....I met her when I was working a temp job when I first moved to Arizona...

when you walk into a room of strangers....other temps....you know...you need to...well, at some point- talk to somebody....you know...

there's breaks...and lunch...and a whole day with people...

and...some people are ok with keeping to themselves....and work...and leave...and not interact with others...

 I'm not really that way.  That's not how I roll.  

so I scanned the group for....somebody to hang with....when I saw Connie, I kind of passed over her because, well....she was a pregnant, married lady...with...a long grey sweater type dress on....and I was a single...22 year old...

and then there was another ....girl...college-age student...my age I guess...maybe younger.....

and I don't remember what exactly happened....it was so long ago....my guess is that Connie started talking to me....and it probably wasn't my choice.  :)  Hahahahahahhahaha, because she's that way....

but....we started talking...and she told me of some crazy stories...the kind of stories that reminded me that you can't judge a pregnant married lady by the grey long boring-conservative maternity dress she was wearing....

I'll just sum it up...as.....L.A. days....with a band of her friends, fresh out of high school....and parties...and Faith No More....and Red Hot Chili Peppers...and a whole lot of all that kind of thing.... 

and so....

that's my friend Connie...and it has never been boring...I can tell you that.  In fact...when we are sharing a brain together...things go sideways....  

we should sign waivers before we get together.... it's like a Harold and Kumar movie.....so much....so we now call each other Harold and Kumar....she's Kumar....because she is insane... :)  

anyway....one thing about Connie... she can be a bit fanatical about certain musicians and their tragic passings......Andy Gibb.....and Jeff Buckley...oh, and Michael Hutchins....

Once at work....ohmygoodness....I'm not sure how much freaking Andy Gibb she made me listen too....cripes. :)   

Once she went to NYC by herself....to hang out at a Jeff Buckley tribute thing...and totally made friends with his Mom and chatted her up... because....she's like that....she's everyone's friend....and such a sweet loving soul....but, she can be tough as nails....so...if anything, I would count on her to kick someone's ass if they were messing with us.....she doesn't put up with any crap.... 

the thing is....  it's one hell of a roller coaster with her.....and sometimes you need that.... 

a friend who makes shit go sideways once in a while.... to keep things in perspective....

and for her.....this Jeff Buckley song...

Looking out the door I see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners..

parading in a wake of sad relations as their shoes fill up with water...

and maybe i'm too young to keep good love from going wrong, 

but tonight you're on my mind so you never know...

when I'm broken down and hungry for your love with no way to feed it

where are you tonight, child you know how much I need it...

too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run...

it's never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder, 

it's never over, all my riches for her smiles when I slept so soft against her, 

it's never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter, 

it's never over, she's the tear that hangs inside my soul forever...

This group of watercolors.....a nod to the trilogy, Blue, Red, and White, by Krystof Kieslowski... 

peace...and love....and....unpredictable friends who keep life interesting...

non-canonical radicalness....

here's the thing...sometimes things get stuck...everyone trying to do the same damn thing the same damn way and only getting slightly different results...

and then...

there is some radical break-through....you know- the kind you read about...someone doing something a totally different way.....radically different...and that is....progress.  

or at least people can start thinking about things a bit differently....expanding knowledge and expanding limitations...

jump the track... why do we have to do things the same way?  because we've always done them that way?  

why?  sometimes there's a better way....but it takes some radical thinking and some faith to try.  

hahaahha...seriously.....like zippers...is there a better way?  

zippers piss me off sometimes.....we can put a man on the moon, but we can't improve damn zippers?  they never change?  

damn...zippers....especially when you're in a hurry and they get caught on things....and buttons...forget about buttons....

sometimes the answer is clear and the new way kind of just....shows up.  and then everyone's like...'duh'..... 

and....

some things should never be messed with for that matter....like, non-pareils.....these are my all-time favorite things....

and weirdly...can't be found anywhere in Canada....so weird.  

but hey...someone took some regular chocolate wafer things...and said, hey...let's dip them in little tiny sugar balls (sprinkles).....

and THAT.... is radical. :) hahahahahahhahaha.  thank you...whoever did that....you, my friend...are a non-canonical chocolatier....way ahead of your time.   bravo.  cheers...high-fives- and all that. 

I'm kidding, of course....

there are real issues in the world that could use some radical new approaches...but you gotta start somewhere.....

process improvement and progress....

and 

the brain is an amazing place....all of a sudden...bam....a new thought...a new way....new hope enters the scene....

and changes everything.  

and that....

is amaze-balls.  

you just never know what could be around the next corner.... 

peace...and love....and non-pareils....

speed of love...E=mc2, etc.

I've had the flu for a few days....I apologize if this is.....wait, no I don't...

it's my blog.  :)  HA!  I don't have to apologize for my damn blog.

what travels faster than the speed of light?

quantum theory says, that...quantum entanglement is faster than the speed of light ...and particles ...like- electrons...can vibrate simultaneously- even when separated, they have an invisible umbilical cord that connects them...and their states can't be described independently....this is to say, if one vibrates the other does as well...which illustrates that this connection travels instantaneously.....traveling faster than sound...


look, I'm no quantum physicist, I'm a linguist....but....I think that....

Love works that way too....we are, after all....a bunch of particles.

as I mentioned before about limbic resonance....the emotions resonating in one individual can cause another to feel the same... this can go for not so great emotions as well...someone experiencing anxiety...depression, paranoia...can impact a room...just as someone spreading peace and love brings that energy to a space...

love can resonate....spreading love.... at the speed of love. :)  amazing things can happen when this happens....


across boundaries....particles affecting particles....interconnected energy.

crazy stuff happens when you start making connections... :)  because so often, isn't it true, that scientists hyper-specialize in a certain area, a certain discipline...and sometimes lose sight of the way things are connected...how each piece impacts the other....and the overlap gets overlooked...or under examined.

and, I read...(Frederickson) that especially Westerners....think of emotions as being only of the individual...a personal thing...a private event....however, emotions....fear and love...have a widespread effect....resonating...and connecting to others...

in fact.....love....is experienced....as a connection to other people....it is a shared emotion...and the more the love experience is shared...a sharing of positive emotions....the stronger and more easily

in the same vein as emotion and connections....(ha, I know...I'm kind of being random-ish)

There's a researcher...Barbara Frederickson, who wrote a book called, Love 2.0, which I haven't read...but through research, I have learned about her main points....building on the Anais Nin quote...

"Anxiety is love's greatest killer.  It creates the failures.  It makes others feel as you might when  drowning man holds on to you.  You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic. "  Anais Nin, 1947...

and so...in response to this, Frederickson writes, "people who suffer from anxiety, depression, or even loneliness...or low self-esteem perceive threats far more often than circumstances warrant...this overalert state thwarts both positivity and positivity resonance...feeling unsafe, then, is the first obstacle to love."

and so...the pattern continues...anxiety builds on anxiety...killing love and intimacy... 

what's my point?   connection....and what you put out there....is what you get resonating back to you...

throw love out there....and you will spread love...and by love...I mean....non-judgemental...compassionate....love...the kind that realizes that we are all connected...the love you have for yourself...and the love you are able to give....is the love that flows back to you....feeling more instances of love....will actually allow you to feel more love and give more love.  

why is love so important?  why? why? why?  because.... it's good medicine....  it cures all kinds of stuff....it makes you live longer....and happier...that's why.  because...people need it...and people need to give it.  

and living a life of loneliness and fearful of life, well.....sucks...and sometimes you have to realize when it's time to stop enabling people living this way...and resonating their energy that leaves the room begging for some positivity.... 

because you always have a chance, a right... to swim on your own...without being strangled in the panic....and maybe that person....finally learns to stop struggling...find their strength....and start swimming...all on their own.  

so....bottom line...if you aren't living a life full of love.... then.... you need to, because it's good for you, dammit.  It's a decision...to get out of the box....

and live....

peace...and love.....and quantum physics.  :)  

and taking responsibility for your particles...

and what your particles do to other particles. 

#radicalawesome

pink....

did you know....(get ready for some fluffier things...)

that the phrase, in the pink, has a very interesting origin....well, even...maybe the word for "pink" for that matter...


freaking interesting things to find on the inter webs.....  wow.

so, the phrase, in the pink, granted...this is someone else's research...I'm merely just pointing out what someone found....

but...here goes. :)  from, Leigh's Kensington Gardens, 1720


"Tis the Pink of the Mode, to marry at first sight: - and some, indeed, marry without any sight at all..."


The 'pink of the mode, is the acme of excellence of fashion....and was used throughout the 19th century....


and apparently...the origin of this phrase could have come from- according to this site, the dianthus flower....which are commonly the color pink... (these flowers were always in our garden growing up...and learned from my Mom...that you can eat the petals...)

continuing....

and....also..... perhaps the color name, 'pink' actually came from the Dutch word, meaning little eye, for these flowers...the word, pinck-ooghen...and given that these flowers are called, Pinks...well....there it is...you know...do the math and whatnot.....

and apparently these Pinks...were a favorite of Elizabeth I...and well, then.....Pinks were associated with excellence...

and bam..... things like this happen all the time....words...history...symbolism....shifts and whatnot...and generations go by...

and sometimes....we stop and wonder...why.

and it's fascinating stuff....so anyway...

pink.

pink can represent hope....and love....and good health....and....kindness and tenderness....

so..here's to love and peace.....and pink.  oh...and in honor of motivation Monday....

try something different....

when we do different things...we get different things.  

I know....profound.  

crossing the river....

close your eyes.....and feel love...and imagine the most beautiful walk...to a calm and welcoming river...

take off all your fear and doubt...any hate...and self-pity, self-doubt...

because all that stuff....will drown you....it weighs you down...there's no place for it here.  there is no purpose for fear and doubt....

get into the warm water..

and just....cross it....what is left when you leave all that behind?

what is left is just....you...and love...appreciation of all that is...and what will be....because it's just simple.

the power of the mind...the power of imagination..the power of determination to survive...to thrive...to live.

I was reading about two different POWs and just how important it is to embrace imagination...and to cross that river....to decide to live and not go back.....because once you decide that....there really isn't any -going back-

...

One POW, Col. George Hall...lived through beatings, solitary confinement...routine starving, dropped at least 70 lbs while imprisoned...and used his imagination to take him from all this- this, 7.5 years of this ...and played golf.  He played golf in his mind, every single day....and when he was released....and returned back to U.S. soil....he played golf....and he played the best damn game of golf he ever had.

and another,

Col. Ed Hubbard, who spent 6.5 years in a POW camp...beatings, starvation, solitary confinement...he completely changed his mindset...he made the decision to leave self-pity behind and start thriving...

through the need to communicate and the motivation to do so...he and his fellow POWs created a tapping code....they shared poetry....they learned Spanish....they connected...and as a result, changed their perspective.


because....we will always find a way to communicate with each other....it's a fundamental human need...and not only do we need to communicate....we need to be understood...we need to share with each other...share stories...share memories...


Hubbard speaks about his strength and survival, wrote a book...talks to others...spreads his inspiration...

things happen in life..and it's what you do with it that makes the difference....it's a choice....to either lock yourself away....and play a victim....or come out fighting....

strive for change and for better.

and once you do that....

the course you plot...is life and living...not just existing...but....living....with strength and purpose.  :)

it isn't what life throws at you...it is....how you move forward with love...and learn....and grow from it.

I think sometimes people forget....that they have wings...and can fly, they just have to want to. 

The Black Atlantic, I Shall Cross This River,


My love, she has chosen me
From my candor of speech
She takes me to the river
Like a child at play

She sees not this bitter man
But the promise of a lover
Once the darkness washes off
She moves into my arms

So too, my folks support me
Through my restless whims
They see not this failure
But the promise of a firstborn

When my darkness leaves
When my fall is complete
I shall cross this river
For them




here's to love...and peace....and using your powerful mind to imagine exactly what you want....

because...it will happen. 

#motivationmonday
#love
#soar
#watercolors