love thrives when love is the priority

why are so many people sitting and coping in a loveless relationship?  in a toxic marriage?  In an abusive situation?

when love is a priority it thrives....what is love?  What isn't love?  Love isn't fear.

What about the friendship test?  If a friend put you through the same bullshit that your husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend  is doing....would you tolerate it? or walk away?

what about blowing you off and ignoring your texts?   fuck that?  right?  if a friend did that shit, you would just blow them off and move on...fuck it if they think i'm such a pain they can't even answer my text...

what about when the friend finally answers you back and they say, well?  they were "allowed" to go out with friends so why are you mad about being late 2 hours?  and now it is all your fault that you are blowing it out of proportion.

huh?  maybe? fuck that?   right?

with a friend, you just would stop trusting that they say....their word would begin to mean nothing and you just wouldn't hang out with them anymore.

and so.....then....so many times people sit in a relationship that is supposed to be the most loving, the most trusting, the most supportive...

only...they sit in misery.....not getting any of those things because the other person doesn't know how to love, trust, respect.....because they don't have love, trust, or respect for themselves... the fuck do you think they will be able to love, trust, respect you?

exactly.

friend test it.   What if that husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend was so insecure they needed you to help them stand?  a lot of pressure?  what if they counted on you for their happiness?  suffocating you?  yes?

What if they patrolled your every move because they lived in fear that you would leave them...what if that was a friend of yours?

fuck that?  right?   Jesus.  Nobody wants a friend like that.....

Love CANNOT survive in a fear based environment.  It just can't.

What if you sit in fear because you are afraid to hurt someone because you are so miserable in the relationship.

first of all, if you can't talk to the person you are supposed to love the most, cherish, respect...trust....etc.  then that game has been over a long time ago.  right?

I mean....seriously.  When we meet people, our dynamic gets set...from the beginning.  In relationships....romantic ones...that shit is set and so what is in the beginning will continue throughout...if you fell in love with someone but shit was off and you ignored it....i guarantee shit will be off - as undercurrents- throughout your relationship.

if you start a relationship with a lie about who you are....or they start off with a lie about who they are... that lie is a crack that will grow and grow throughout the whole relationship.

If there is love, trust, respect, communication in the beginning.....that is what you will find in your relationship.

If love....real love....has a place to grow with all the elements it needs...it will make both of you better....grow together....communicate together, trusting, loving....all of it...

But if you continually have to McGyver your relationship.....fuck that.


peace and love.....


and realizing that....love exists....but only when love exists.

Be with someone who helps your dreams burn.