shibboleths, y'all.....

y'all.

I'm moving to Texas....

and as a linguist....there is just....so much that I'm going to pick up on.....oh, man....idioms...phrases, sociolinguistic local identities....phonetic and phonological stuff....different vowel qualities....different intonations.... freaking...WOW.



after getting used to the western Canadian stuff....with shibboleths such as....the way they say, 'pasta'...and 'been'....and the way they say, 'Zed' for Z. :) I mean.....really...only Americans say, "ZEE" for Z.  :)  so, whenever I spelled out my daughter's name here in Canada....I would be identified as American right away. :)

they had this weird- i mean, not super weird, because....really...what IS weird?

but anyway...this agreement intonation that sounded almost condescending that I had to get used to....because....really...it wasn't condescending...and then....living in Canada...I started picking it up....


or the way they say "I'm done dinner".  Or "I'm done that"....(sans preposition...with) both of my kids do this.....

and now...moving to Texas....man!  it is going to be....awesome.

and of course...

the kids will start picking up all this new stuff quickly....little sponges...and will sound local in no time at all.



and yeah....more about the move coming up....soon.


peace and love...and Texas, y'all.   I'm going to try not to think about water moccasins....
the deadliest thing I deal with in Canada is a wasp (on many different levels, HA! i kid) 

portage....

so....

I was thinking....about life....as a journey, you know...it's a very common analogy....

you know...and as a journey....I was thinking about what it would be like to go on a, real, physical.... journey....one where you are completely directing it.....and one.....when you can....

flow....with the water at times.....and then at times....when you have to pick up the canoe...and portage to the next body of water....

sometimes....we flow....and sometimes we have to....lift a crazy amount of stuff....and move it...and get all gritty....

and yeah....life

it's a journey....and only you know how your journey is going.....you create the realities of your journey as well.....

you know when you can flow...and when you have to portage....you know when you need to rest...and when you need to do some hard work.....

and you, are the only one who can see what you see from your vantage point....you might be enduring 

the storm of your life....and from where you are....you do what you need to do.....because only you are aware....

of what you are going through...and the steps you need to take....

and that means....

you are the expert...of your life.....and no matter what someone else thinks.....or advice you get....

you...

know where you are and where you are going...you only have to put your ego aside...and listen to your heart....for the ego is full of fear that keeps putting doubt in your head.  

and....if this post helps anyone out there.  :)  I love that.  remember, if you are going through a crazy storm right now....

it will pass....the clouds will dissipate...and that storm will only be a memory.... :) a distant one. 

peace...and love.....and canoes.  

gone!

I'm trying to figure out....why I've been using so much grey.... it's summer...and I'm just....dragging....and so tired of the school routine...and ready for some summer....

and we are moving.....

and recently it was really hard to breathe in my house...for reasons.....

and I'm ready to use some more color....i think....

and then, I heard this Cure song, that I hadn't in so long...and remembered....sometimes you have to have a grey period...and then...get gone...sometimes The Cure...is the only cure...
and sometimes,

wow, man....The Cure just pulls you deeper into a darker place....that's. well...you gotta know when to turn it off.....and switch to something that will take you off the ledge....right?  like....what.....maybe a Marley....or a Coldplay....but definitely not Morrissey....maybe a Morrison.

or just a happy Cure song....because there are a few..... :) like Mint Car.... that's a good one or even Love Cats.....

Cure, Gone,

oh, you know how it is,
wake up feeling blue,
and everything that could be wrong is,
including you,
black clouds and rain...pain in your head
and all you want to do is stay in bed
but if you do that you'll be missing the world...
because it doesn't stop turning whatever you heard

if you do that you'll be missing the world
you have to get up, get out, and get gone!

Yeah, you know how it is, wake up feeling green
sick as a dog and six times as mean,
you don't want to sing, you don't want to play
you don't want to swing, you don't want to sway,

all you do is nothing, on a day like today,

But if you do that you'll be missing the world,
because it doesn't stop turning, whatever you heard...

you have to get up get out and get gone....
you have to get up get out and get living....



so you know how it is, wake up feeling grey,
nothing  much to think and nothing much to say,
don't want to talk, don't want to try,
don't want to think don't want to know...

who what where when or why....

..
and seriously....I'm sure days like that seem like the end....but you know...they aren't....

so....when things get grey...

even a tiny splash of warm can help....

so don't be afraid to ask...or go seek it out....

because there's aways hope 

and things can change tomorrow.  

and yeah....it hurts.....but it doesn't have to.  

peace and love....and feeling the grey.....to feel the yellow again....

#thecure

sucking less to be more...

you should never suck....just so another person should suck less....

it is so hard to see someone sad...and miss another person...but not realize that the other person just wasn't the right person for them....and they act like the victim....and they are at a low low low point...and they don't realize they have strength....because all they do is give in....give into the sadness and hurt and fear.....it's like....

standing on the edge of a cliff.....with wings.....and they are so scared to step off and fly....they just keep trembling and hanging on to the cliff....out of fear....holding on to the fear that they know....

instead of flying.....and reaching.....and creating something new for themselves....something way better....

so, instead of kicking ass.....they kinda get stuck...sucking ass....and sometimes the person who should really leave....and stop enabling something they know isn't right....

..they suck ass so that another person can suck less....so the other person can be a little bit happier...

and that's not why you're here....

what?   I mean...it's not your purpose to be here....on earth....  it's not....

to not be who you want to be...comfortable with who you are.....so that someone else's life can suck a little less...

seriously....I'm not talking about...you know...taking care of someone who needs care....so complicated, this concept.  I'm saying.......

it is not your job to make someone else's life more comfortable at the expense of all you know to be true...

I know that's hard....but sometimes, you gotta know when to get up and leave....from the table...if love is no longer being served....(Nina Simone)

right?

it's a hard time for a few people we know right now....and I'm just saying....this is a time to support growth and change....and not go down, kicking and resisting, because it's not the same as what it was before.

change is going to happen......and it's what you do with that change....that makes a huge difference between being the victim and being triumphant...resilient.  kicking ass and not sucking ass....

poise....perseverance....patience....grace....strength....wisdom....peace.....

and i just read all about something interesting....that people change and grow....and yet, as people change and grow...they refuse to let their marriage change and grow...they expect the marriage to stay the same.....they want the same person they married?  they want the same relationship to just stay the same?

why?   why would you want that?  as we grow....we support each other in growth....right?

if you were a clueless 25 year old something.....who, at 38, 39, 40....are wiser and understand yourself better.....decide you have things that are priorities...why would someone want you to just be a clueless ambition-less person your whole life?  life and experience changes us....that is a good thing.....

and sometimes change happens...whether we like it or not...it happens...and sometimes the people who need it the most.....fear it the most....and end up.....probably, looking back.....thanking the heavens....that

change finally happened.

and when you reach a point where you want to be your most authentic self....

I hope someone is there who fully supports you....who wants the best for you and who does not judge....

it's easy to think someone is crazy for wanting something different out of life....because it doesn't make the other person feel comfortable....or support their sense of safety.....

it's not your job, to suck....so someone else can suck less...that's what I'm saying.....it's not for you to not dream your dreams...

that's not why you are here...

you are here...

to dream...

and make those dreams come true.....and inspire, create, heal, grow, learn, help, and BE who you are.



so....go....out....and love......and don't suck.....you're better than that....you can be more than that.

it's probably me...

words....are so powerful....that with a single blow.....

can....melt, impress, move, inspire, empower.....amaze...and for almost a year, that I have been here....I have had some beautiful things said to me about my art....that leave me warm and gooey, and speechless...

some people have an excellent command of words....they know the impact they have...they use them wisely....crafting a message perfectly... like an artist would contemplate colors and texture...and evoke a mood....some people have such control of their words....that really....the communication coming from them....is a thing of art.

and recently...well, I've wanted to collect them all in one place...and I will do this, but recently...

a fellow artist friend, said this of my


art, 


"Your nudes are so great, loose, and yet precise, sensual yet innocent, all with such an economy of line, so expressive." 

and that....kinda...just blew me away.

this comment really struck me as....a beautiful description of my work...that I couldn't actually say myself.


so, thank you, James Kalin for that....it was beautifully said...and I'm so grateful....and I hope he doesn't mind...but

I may use this for formal things.... yes?  I hope that's ok...

because,

it is very possible...to be powerful, yet light as a feather....it is possible to be sensual yet innocent...to be so expressive....with such an economy of line....

loose, yet precise....   wow.

I think I mentioned this before....that I am haphazardly deliberate.... :)  I'm intuitive...and I kinda- just go with my first desire for movement...and not overthink.....

it's the balance of being carefree and careful?  I'm not sure....but one thing is for certain....

you would want me in your corner....I'm a terrific ally....in a dark alley.

which reminds me of this Sting song...that I love....and represents....a quiet strength and presence that we all need to know is there for us.....

and Sting....ahhh, the man...is just.....my go-to painting music....

if the night turned cold, and the stars looked down
and you hug yourself in the cold cold ground, 
you wake the morning, in a stranger's coat, 
no one would you see, 
you ask yourself, who'd watch for me...
my only friend, who could it be...

it's hard to say it....I hate to say it, but it's probably me...

when your belly's empty and the hunger's so real, 
and you're too proud to beg, and too dumb to steal, 
you search the city for your only friend, 
no one would you see, 
ask yourself, who'd watch for me....
a solitary voice to speak out and set me free....
I hate to say it, 
I hate to say it, but it's probably me....

you're not the easiest person, I ever got to know
and it's hard for us both to let our feelings show, 
some would say I should let you go your way, 
you'll only make me cry, 
but if there's one guy, just one guy, 
who'd lay down his life for you and die, 

I hate to say it...I hate to say it,  but it's probably me..

when the world's gone crazy and it makes no sense, 
there's only one voice that comes to your defense, 
and the jury's out and your eyes search the room, and one friendly face is all you need to see....

it's probably me....

Rumble House #3...

so...

I did one of those weird personality online tests where you just pick out pictures that you like....or whatever...
and this is what I got...

You are

direct, passionate, kind, funny and lively!

You're a real energyball. You wear your heart on your sleeve and you have excellent entertainer qualities. You are ready for everything and with you there's always something to laugh about. Unless, someone dares to criticize you in public. Then you loose it and you say things that you might feel sorry for later on. However, with your wit and your charm, you manage to calm things down playfully.

yo.....I'm a real energyball.  Like gas on a fire. :)  this shit is absolutely true. :)


and so....yesterday was RUMBLE HOUSE!

it was my 3rd time there....and I went with 2 gessoed old canvases....and this is what happened...



my recurring image of lovers....on canvas this time.

and this....

and then...this is Rich's painting this week....which I bought at the auction at the end of the night...

so...here's to my third week in a row at Rumble House...

peace...and love....and live art.  

Just Like Heaven....aka...strange as angels

singing....and dancing....and painting....and playing guitar.....


all, in one day...is just like heaven.....I am the happiest creating and spreading love....


what is your purpose?  people love to ask this.....what is my purpose?  should we all have a purpose?  do we have to?  

I guess mine would be to inspire and heal....my purpose is to touch people with light...spreading the gift of love and beauty....to instill...promote....stir up...

hope.  


and today....I remember the Cure...and how happy this song makes me...and how much.....love is...


all around...

the beauty in everything... 

it's contagious.....love is contagious....

and it

makes the world go 'round.  

peace...and love....and heaven, Bliss town, USA.  :)